Flavah Of The Month

Okay, well first off let me correct that title...it should really read 'Flavahs', as I'm going to be covering more than one this time.
In fact, think of this months entry as the flavour, Neapolitan. Three flavours so good that you can't choose just one.
The reason for this change is the odd fact that for once in my life, my 'Rain Man' listening habits have been slightly altered. This change is a result of some personal stuff that I'm currently going through, it seems that with my thoughts being pulled in so many directions it has also left my listening skills a bit jumbled. Normally I'll play a certain artist to death before adding another to the mix, well for the past several months, I keep going back and forth between many artists. So in my new, current state of listening, I've decided to share with you three of the artists that I keep coming back to.
Between the three of these men, I can always find something to fit in with my mood of the moment.
Let's start things off with William Fitzsimmons, or the Mighty Bearded One as I like to call him. When I first read in his bio the line, 'that he is one of the oddest people you'll ever meet', well, I just knew I'd like him! Being of the misfit variety myself, someone being odd, has always been more interesting to me. How can you not love a Charlie-in-the-box?? That's for those of you who remember The Island of Misfit Toys in the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer movie.
William not only sports a wicked beard but he also writes some incredibly beautiful music too. He weaves together rich layers of music with lyrics that give you a glimpse into his heart and the result for me is gorgeous songs that draw you in and wrap you up in his story. My favourite song of his is 'Funeral Dress', for me, there is just something extra special about this song. 'You Still Hurt Me', is another song that gets a lot of play time from me. Parts of it remind me (vocally), of John Mayer, I especially like how he mixes his sad lyrics with some upbeat music - must be a fellow optimist. 'It's Not True', is another superb song that also has a great video to go along with. 'If You Come Back Home' and 'Find It In Me' are another couple that are on my regulars list. I don't think you can go far wrong with anything by this great storyteller.


Moving to curtain number two, we have Justin Nozuka. At the age of only 21, Justin seems to have lived more than a few lives, I'm basing this on the fact that he is definitely of the old soul variety. Within this one talented man lies the ability to pull off a soul number, a blues tune, a pop gem, or a folk story all with equal conviction and also on par with some of the greats in each of those categories.
As a person who grew up exposed to so much fantastic music from just about every genre, it's great for me to hear so many of those influences in his songs.
What I especially love about him is the fact that he sounds so authentic, the influences are clear to my ears, but the way they play out is all his own.
Some of my faves are 'Golden Train', a beautiful soul filled song, and 'After Tonight', which is one of those songs that I play over and over, such a smooth tone to his voice. 'Be Back Soon' delivers a nice shot of the blues, a porch-style gritty little ditty - fantastic! 'Mr. Therapy Man' and 'Save Him' are another two songs that he sings with such conviction, it keeps bringing me back to them again and again.



Last but not least of the flavahs is Matt Hires. When he sings there is a great sense of someone who is completely at ease with what he's doing. A genuineness that I find really appealing, you somehow feel like he's skipped the big 'edit' button and just sings from his gut. His style reminds me a lot of Luke Concannon from the UK band Nizlopi, I've always loved him for that same kind of raw vibe.
'Honey, Let Me Sing You A Song' and 'A Perfect Day' both fall into this category for me, still both catchy pop-ish tunes, but there is an honest quality about them that I love. 'State Lines' is another addictive little number, while the song 'You In The End', is a gorgeous offering that shows off Matt's beautiful tone. Oh how the real deal musicians make my heart sing and that's what you'll find in each of these lovely men.

Here's a few video links for you to check out -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8_86DCD_Ks
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2IoMOQkBx4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jmzoiqNSGI&feature=related

Pretty Sky

On my drive home yesterday I noticed that the sky was starting to show a pinkish hue (George Costanza would've loved it!), so I ran in the house, grabbed my camera and drove down to the park to take a few quick pics. Had to be quick, minutes later - it was gone.

Defacing Da Face

How cute is she?!
I spotted this sweet little lady on the loo door at Long Beach. I think it's a big improvement on the original, you know the one where we have no hair or expression. Hopefully, someone will come along soon with ye olde Sharpie in hand and give the men's side a little spice, at least give the poor man some facial features. Maybe he could be wearing a wetsuit and have a surfboard by his side. Maybe, that should replace traditional tagging - just have graffiti artists hit all their local loo's and give the folks a make-over, appropriate to the surroundings.
I think it's long overdue. These people who stand as our silent guides, getting us to the correct spot, saving us from the embarrasment of heading into the wrong washroom, never taking a sick day, most likely, earning low wages - surely they deserve a fashion intervention. Raising the self esteem of cut-out people all over the world - one loo at a time! I wonder if they've ever thought of forming a Union?...

Flavah of the Month

Let me set the scene for you - I'm reclining on my outdoor lounger, a warm breeze blows through my hair, the skies are a beautiful shade of blue and the clouds like big balls of cotton candy. The days are long, I wile away my time sipping slushy fruity drinks and daydreaming until darkness falls and the stars light up the sky. I close my eyes and listen to the sounds of the birds singing their bed-time lullabies to me. Aah, sweet serenity.

Now back to reality - I'm in the backyard sitting on a chair, with 2 kids, a Slip 'n Slide, and I'm keeping myself cool with the aid of a water bottle/fan. If the birds were singing, I'd never hear them over the laughter of children - a beautiful sound as well. This is a pretty nice way to spend a summer day too, but sometimes I could use a little of the first scenario to just recharge my batteries. A small break from my usual life to give me the fuel I need for the real scenarios in my life.
When I'm looking for this kind of mini getaway, I find the quickest way to get that feeling is to listen to my latest flavah - Zee Avi.

This 23 year old singer/songwriter was born in Borneo and later moved to Kuala Lumpur, so this lovely lady can quickly deliver me to that relaxing island vibe within the first few words of a song. She plays guitar and ukulele and her voice has an ease and a calmness to it that is incredibly sweet and relaxing.
It's the same quality that draws me to songs like Ella Fitzgerald's 'A-Tisket, A-Tasket' and Sarah Vaughan's, 'The Sassy One'. There is a quiet conviction to her voice that just takes you along for the ride. Stylistically speaking, she hits my musical sweet spot - her songs are reminiscent of some of the best music that I was lucky enough to have been exposed to as a kid. She brings an old jazz feel to her music while still keeping the sound fresh and modern.

My current fave from Zee Avi is the pretty little song, 'Honey Bee'. Being a quirky non conformist all of my life, I instantly related to not fitting in with rest of the bees! 'Bitter Heart' is a breezy tune that takes an upbeat approach to a not so upbeat situation...I've always loved the sad lyric/happy beat combo. 'Just You And Me', is another catchy number that has me planning my next adventure, it's impossible not to be swept away with this song and it's happy ukulele strumming.
Other beautiful offerings include, 'Poppy', 'I Wish I'd Never' and 'No Christmas For Me', all fantastic in their own different ways. Zee Avi also does a selection of covers, so great to hear a new twist on many of my old favourites. Check out YouTube for her videos, as well, check her out at www.myspace.com/zeeavi and www.zeeavi.com

Do yourself a favour and pick up her debut self-titled album.
I look forward to following the career of this musical gem, I know as long as she's singing - I'll be listening.

Boeuf of the Week

Ok, here's my latest rant. The victim this time - changing rooms, or more accurately those closet type rooms who try to disguise themselves as changing rooms.
As all of my post grad education is fashion related, I do believe that I am more than qualified to speak on such a subject.
I also did work briefly in a clothing store which gives me some behind the scenes cred, but most of all, it's my pure love of clothing that qualifies me as an expert on this subject.
Also, the fact that I am a compact sized human, means trying on clothes in store is pretty much a necessary evil, so I have a good understanding of what the perfect changing room should be like.

Okay first off, I like a good door. Sounds like a pretty basic request, yet more and more often, it's becoming like a search for the Holy Grail to find such a thing.
Now when I say a 'good' door, I guess I should clarify what that is - apparently I need to! A door is solid, is doesn't have slats in it like a venetian blind, that children always seem to be tempted to poke their fingers through as they walk past with their parents - or they also like to try and have a peek inside. Note to you children - I can see you!!
A good door should go down to the floor, not start a foot or more above the floor. Nothing is more comical to me than shopping for clothes and glancing over to the change room area and seeing a collection of bare legs wearing an array of bad socks.
I've been in some change rooms where the bottom of the door is so high up that I'm sure I've flashed 'me knickers' as I've bent down to get try on the next garment!
Word to the wise - always wear good knickers!
A door should be made of a solid material, fabric - a door does not make! Even if you put over-sized grommets on it in an attempt to trick us into thinking it's a 'cool door'. Nope, it's still just a big ol' curtain. The supplying of an extra half yard also does nothing to remedy the fact that every time someone walks by my change room the curtain flies open at the sides exposing me in my smalls! Now, by no means am I a prude, but if I am going to be giving your customers a 'peep show' due to your lack of providing a proper door, then I at least would like to get paid for my performance - and yes, I would consider taking a hefty discount on my purchases as payment. A simple magnet in the curtain and on the wall of changing room would help, but we all know how expensive magnets are, don't we?!

Now once in the change room a simple chair would be nice, sometimes I have a guest in there with me and a seat would be nice. Kids get cranky if they have to stand, and for those times when I'm flying solo, I may like to sit for a moment and ponder my potential purchase.

A mirror inside the room...is that such a lot to ask for? Not a mirror outside - where Trixie, sales girl is waiting with her words of praise for me - no matter how I look. To all you sales chicks, let me give you the heads up, I've never been the type of person to be swayed one way or another about pretty much anything, by pretty much anyone. So, please keep your 'OMG you look so cute in that' to yourself. I can appreciate your need for that extra boost to your pay cheque from commission - but with me you're barking up the wrong tree. Just give me a mirror in my room and nobody gets hurt.

Hooks would be lovely too. Not one or two, but I'm thinking six would be nice. I usually need one for the 'keepers', one for the 'what was I thinking trying that on!', one for the 'maybes', one for the clothes I came in wearing, one for my purse (failing the providing of a chair) and one for any excess. Hooks aren't expensive so there is no need to cheap out on this, please don't make me bring my own 3M ones!

That's it really. A proper door, a seat, a mirror -inside, and some hooks. Hardly what I'd call diva-like demands. Oh, and if you can get the sales girl to stop tapping on my door every few minutes asking me 'how's it going?', that would be cool too! Once is fine but if they keep asking, I may be forced to show my annoyance by slamming the curtain as I leave - see, you need a door!!!

Psst...ya wanna buy a rose bush?

Beware - mad-man on the loose!! He may be armed with a trowel and wheelbarrow - do not approach if seen, call 911!!
If this is direction that crime has taken since I left Surrey, I must say that things have improved greatly! It does make me wonder though - how much can you get for a 'hot hosta'?? How much street cred can this crime give you? Will I see some of these criminals on 'Lockdown'?

I can see it now....
Inmate 1 -'What are you in for?'
Inmate 2 - 'Doing 25 years for murder, you?'
Inmate 1 - 'I'm doing a week plus 50 hours of community service for the theft of some pansies.'
Inmate 2 - 'Oh you a pansy alright!!'

So remember kids, crime doesn't pay. Ok, well it can but I think you know what I mean.

Objects May Appear Smaller

...way smaller!! A few weeks back I forgot to take a lunch to work, no biggie, I thought I'd just hit the BK drive-thru and grab myself a Whopper Jr. and a bottle of water, and yes, I know this seems like a kids meal!! As I'm waiting to place my order, I notice that they have apple juice, so I decide that I'll get that for a change - I know, my life in the fast lane, that's just how I roll. Actually, my decision to change my bevy choice was based on the image that popped into my head of having that nice cold glass bottle of apple juice to hold against my body and feel its soothing chill. It was one of those 30c days that we'd been having, and despite having my air conditioning on, I still longed for that extra shot of cold. So I place my order and get lost in my daydream of my cold bottle of apple juice with condensation o'plenty for extra effect. I pull up to the window to get my goods. The lady hands me my tiny burger bag, and I turn to put that on my passenger seat. As I turn back in anticipation of receiving my bottle of juice dripping in cooling goodness, she hands me this doll sized carton of apple juice that you see pictured. As you can see it's even smaller than a kids sized chocolate milk, in fact I've never even seen such a tiny carton before!! When I say doll sized, I'm talking small dolls, this wouldn't even be enough to quench the thirst of Cabbage Patch Doll!! I'm actually stunned by what I'm being handed, so much so, that I just assume I must be on Candid Camera or something - the lady did give me a bit of an odd look when she handed it to me. I should've said, 'I'm sorry, I think this must be for the garden gnome in the red convertible behind me' (I am imagining that he's at the mid-life crisis stage - the bad fashion sense and the white beard was a dead give-away)! As I assumed that I was on camera at that point, I politely thanked her, and gave her a look like, 'yep, that is what I wanted', no need to laugh at me as I pull away!! It seems that the joke is on me, no TV cameras to be spotted anywhere. I honestly could've sucked back this puppy before I even made it out of the parking lot, but then I would have nothing to wash down my burger with. Instead, I had to have a bite of my burger and then tiny, wee, little sips of juice - akin to the amount of water they give you in hospital to swallow a pill, ya know, in those one inch high cups!! Luckily I didn't choke and I am able to share my story of near tragedy with you. So please if you go to BK and fancy an apple juice, see about getting a price break on a 6-pack, you'll be glad you did!

Things That Make My Heart Smile

The next chapter in the list of things that make my heart go zing!!

Interesting doors - the more worn the better - as this stands as a reminder of how many people they must've welcomed over the years.

The delightful waft of bread baking as I drive past McGavin's Bakery on Langley Bypass.

Beach glass - also known as sea glass or mermaids tears. Basically the little bits of glass that you find along the shores, that have become smooth and frosted as a result of tumbling around in the sea, and on the sand and rocks. In most cases, these little works of art got there as a result of someone littering, leaving their bevy bottles behind - although I prefer to imagine that some drunken pirate threw his empty whiskey bottle overboard in the height of his merriment- but then again, that's just me. I don't like to think of a sad mermaid. I like to say, yo-ho-ho when I find a piece, but again -that's just me.

Rusty things - I just like the way it looks, old nails, barn roofs, and especially old locks.

Chocolate - milk chocolate. Cadbury's milk chocolate makes the top of my list. I'm pretty happy with any brand from the UK though, so much better than North American chocolate. My favourite chocolate shop is Thorntons, and whenever I'm in the UK, I visit them...frequently!! My biggest love is milk chocolate and toffee, together or alone - either way, I'm in heaven! Which is exactly where I was transported to after buying myself a bag of assorted toffees from Thorntons last year. You haven't experienced love until you've had their treacle toffee....must stop here, drool becoming an issue...

A good cuppa - something so satisfying about a good cup of tea, especially on a chilly fall morning.

Jumping in puddles - I know, I'm such a child. How can you resist though...little pools of wonder just waiting to be discovered.

Rolling down a grassy hill - again, I know, I'm such a child. I just find it hard to look at a nice green rolling hill without having the thought of rolling down it. I do tend to resist though - mainly just to avoid bodily harm - damn you aging process!!

The song 'Winter Birds' by Ray LaMontagne - I think this is one of the most beautiful songs - evah!! As a chick with a poetic spirit, this song to me, is lyrically superb. Combine this with some gorgeous soothing guitar and Ray's soul-filled voice, well lets just say, this song moves me. Fills my heart with warmth - *SIGH*
If you're not familiar with this song have a listen via YouTube, and check out his lyrics too.

Linus Van Pelt - yup, I'm talking about Charlie Browns BFF. More about my love for him in a future blog. For now, I just had to declare my love for him. :-D

Boeuf of the Week

Well as you may have noticed, this isn't exactly a 'weekly' blog feature despite it's title. Quite simply because, I don't really have a weekly boeuf. Oh sure, there is always some little annoying thing that will happen but this space is more for things that get under my skin...more of a 'repeat offenders' kind of offence or a venting space for things just plain nutso!
My boeuf this week is something that we all deal with on a fairly regular basis when we're out shopping. It's featured as my current thorn as I always notice that as soon as summer hits, the amount of incidents that occur greatly increase. I'm not sure if it gets worse due to people being in a more relaxed state of mind, or perhaps it's the heat getting to them, but I find it definitely happens more frequently.
I'm speaking of those people who somehow seem to be completely oblivious to other people in their surroundings. You know, the ones who shop and take up a whole aisle - they leave their buggy right in the centre (on an angle of course) while they go off to decide what flavour of chips they want to buy...hmmm, salt & vinegar, rippled, all dressed!!
Clearly the confusion of what additive to choose, leaves them not able to see the line of people trying to get around their buggy, or to hear the same people muttering voodoo chants as they finally make their way past.
Another favourite of the people that I file under 'The Ignoramus Group', is when bumping into a neighbour or friend while shopping, they insist on blocking off the entire area where the meeting occurs, somehow this area now becomes their own. Unless you're interested in getting caught up with the fascinating tales of Aunt Mabels 'foot issues', or Uncle Bob's 'plumbing issues' or hearing what EVERYONES kids are now doing, I would suggest you just take a detour!! This group will still be there when you're on your way out. We also have families, who decide that they all have to walk in one big, spread out horizontal line. They sometimes will all hold hands, which always puts me in the mind of Red Rover - The Mall Addition. I swear one day, I'll see someone taking on their smug challenge and go bustin' right through their happy family unit!!
Red Rover, Red Rover, man with the angry eyes is going to plow you over!
Lastly in this group of people suffering from 'holiday head' are the one's who ask dumb questions, and I mean really dumb questions. Only days ago a customer was standing in front of the gum section where I needed to merchandise my product. She was taking up half of the space, so I did what I could on the other side and waited for her to shift so that I could continue with my gum guru duties. I waited and waited and then waited some more. Frankly I'm often baffled at the amount of time it takes some people to choose gum. So I continue to shuffle the remaining products in my buggy, trying to appear polite by not rushing her - when in fact I'm swearing under my breath. She turns to me with this gem of a question. 'What is the best gum to take on holiday?' My first thought is 'WHAT?'!! She's been there a full ten minutes and that's the reason why?!
I wanted to say, 'well mam, depends where you're going....Mr. Spearmint loves Europe and can take you to the most divine selection of eateries, while Ms. Winterfresh (despite her name) simply adores the tropics, but if it's a fun, no strings attached kind of get away you're after, go for Mr. Bubblemint...he knows how to show a girl a good time!!
I decide against sharing those thoughts with her and ask. 'well what flavour do you like?'. She replies, something minty. Now this is where my extraordinary skills as a gum guru come into play...I say, 'ok, how's about peppermint?' She looks at me as if I'm bathed in light and my words have been sent from God, takes the gum that I recommend and thanks me for my help?.
These are just a few of the challenges that I have to face at work - it's a tough job, but I guess someone has to do it! I sometimes wonder how I manage to stay so sane. ;-)

Design Intervention

The kind of thing that I love....

This photo was taken in my mum's hospital room, in the ICU ward - obviously not the most pleasant ward to be spending time in. Although, at least in this case she had a corner window room with a bit of a view. However, the outside view wasn't the one that gave her the most pleasure, it was the view of this cute little bird.

As soon as I walked into her room, I exclaimed in my usual childlike manner, 'oh look at that wee bird, he's so lovely!!' By using a Sharpie, someone had transformed an ugly rip in the drywall and turned the mess into this adorable little nature scene. Much more uplifting for the patients I'd say!! I hope they don't paint over him though, I'm sure he brings a smile to the everyone who sees him.
So very tweet!!

Flavah of the Month

On the menu board this month is Ben Parker. This chappie came to me by way of a song on a CD that UK friends Chris and Erica made for me a couple of years ago. The song was one from when he was in the dynamic duo, Ben & Jason - they managed to be dynamic despite the lack of masks and capes. When I was in the UK last year the same peeps added some tunes on my iPod for me and Ben Parker was one of those additions....you guessed it kids, he played the role of Ben, in Ben & Jason!! They added 2 of his songs, 'Survive the Rain' and 'Angels & Demons', both of these songs have for months, become part of my morning routine. Even when I shower, I take my iPod and portable speaker system with me...and well, it is there that Ben sings to me. He continues to sing to me throughout the rest of my morning, and he often makes me leave for work much later than I had originally intended to - lucky for me, my start time is very flexible, which is good as I often continue to listen to him via his Myspace or YouTube.
He's so much more than your average bear, his beautiful voice combined with some pretty fantastic song writing really takes me away - obviously not in the direction of work though!!
You must do yourself a favour and check him out, I get more hooked with each listen. 'One Of Us Must Change' (this tune reminds me of Queen a little - the song is amazing!), 'It's Not What You Are', and 'This Message' are some of my current faves, but again, they're all pretty fab. His latest offering, Dream Painted Gold is so much more than your typical pop song, which is why I love his music so much, not a bit of useless fluff to be found anywhere....oh, how it makes my heart sing to listen to well written music. He never takes the typical 'rinse and repeat route'...hallelujah!!
Don't forget to check out his former Ben & Jason work too...more great music for ya....actually their song, 'I'll Always Want You' is also part of my morning musical tour, this song is quietly epic...trust me, that will make sense to you when you have a listen, it is one superb offering, has a bit of a Rufus Wainwright feel to it, with a dash of Fiona Apple.
So there you have it, slowly you'll be able to put together my whole day in musical terms, mornings with Ben, work cruising with Chris.....maybe next month I'll feature who I listen to while I eat...I know, edge of your seat kind of suspense!!!
So give your ears the pleasure of listening to the super talented Ben Parker.
Ben can be found at http://www.myspace.com/benparkermusic and of course, you can see him in action (sans cape) via YouTube.

Before I wrap it up, I just need to bang the Chris Keys (last months' Flavah) drum one more time. In the time since I wrote about him, my copy of his EP Hitman has been delivered. As you may know my listening habits can be classified as 'Rainman' like - I usually have about max. 6 cd's in my regular rotation at a time. I play them over and over, so I get to know them pretty thoroughly. I've been playing Chris's EP almost everyday, and I must say it makes a lovely addition to my commute, great cruising music.
Aside from the songs I mentioned in the original blog, Open Seas and Reliving are another two stand-outs. Most played tune at the moment is Fix It, it's an especially beautiful tune with rich guitar. I've played that particular song so many times, that I even felt qualified to give Chris my suggestion for a little instrument addition - hey who doesn't love a shot of harmonica?? What can I say, I'm an avid listener! So that's my reminder for you to check him out and of course Ben too!
http://chriskeys.com/
http://www.myspace.com/chrisjkeys

Curtain Call

Snippets of my life in theatre format because...
All the world's indeed a stage
And we are merely players
Performers and portrayers
Each another's audience
Outside the gilded cage - Rush via Shakespeare

The setting - Discount store selling a variety of items - some useless, others perhaps useful.

Act One -

Lady (to be played by me)- enters shop upon her husbands suggestion, wanders somewhat aimlessly only half taking in the odd mixture of items as her main focus is controlling her 2 crazy boys. Ponders the fact that despite the lack of customers, there seems to be no lack of staff.

Bearded staff dude with somewhat 'surprised look' eyes spots lady and makes his way through a maze of garden furniture and accessories, weaving in and out of chairs, past tall metal crane sculptures, under over-sized outdoor clock on stand (why?) and finally reaches lady.

Beard guy : 'hi', 'is there anything I can help you with today?'

Lady : (although wanting to say- yeah you could help me get my kids to listen) replies: 'no thanks, I'm cool - just havin' a wander.'

Beard guy - exits stage, left then right, then under the clock again, and another sharp left - careful to avoid being impaled by the crane.

Act Two -

Lady suggests to husband that they wander separately each taking one child to avoid the constant attempt for 2 hot, tired children to give each other the stink eye.
Husband (to be played by Tony) agrees and takes the red-headed one.
They go their separate ways.

Act Three - (the mime portion of the play combined with some interpretive dance??)

The setting -
Lady and brown eyed boy continue to wander aimlessly through shop. Lady continues to wonder, what kind of people shop here - feeling a bit like Alice in Wonderland after she fell down the rabbit hole.
The PA is playing 'Get into the Groove' by Madonna. Lady is getting bored and searches for husband and the red-headed son. As she approaches each aisle she looks down hoping to spot them.
Before she can look down the next aisle a portly man in sweat pants and a t.shirt that is clearly far too small for him, steps out in front of lady - he stares directly at her with no expression on his face, stands there, and does a few bizarre shimmy dance moves to the lyrics - 'Get up on your feet, yeah, Step to the beat, Boy what will it be' and then just turns and goes back down his aisle in a fashion that reminds the lady of a koo-koo clock figure stepping out for it's few seconds of glory and then hiding away again. High emphasis on the word KOO-KOO!!
Lady merely stares blankly in return and continues on her quest to leave the store.

Act Four -
Now back in the safety of their vehicle, although curious why the dancing man chose her to give his free show to....is even more curious as to why this kind of bizarre occurrence happens on a fairly regular basis to her....hmmmm....could it be my perfume??


More plays to follow...my ability to attract the world's strangest people is second to none!! And perhaps I'll even do a little classic theatre and relive some of my old favorites.

P.S. Rush's Limelight is still a wicked tune, back to YouTube for another listen.

Nerves of Steel

This seems to be a prerequisite for travelling in BC - nerves of steel! On our way up to Whistler recently to have a nice relaxing little break, we were constantly reminded not to let our guard down. Looks like there is no time to enjoy feeling safer on the much improved Sea To Sky Highway, there are still too many reminders of pending doom. Every twist and turn gives you some new potential hazard to worry about, you have signs warning you of rocks falling, and we did have a nasty rock slide only last year on that stretch. Then each park stop comes with the gentle reminder, 'You are in bear country', followed by a list of what to do if you encounter one of these locals - top of the list, don't panic...yes, I'm sure everyone feels quite calm when standing close to a bear. Then of course, you've got your fire hazard postings listed everywhere telling you what level of danger we are currently experiencing. When we were in Pemberton, we did see a few puffs of smoke coming off one of the mountains, but no one seemed too worried about it....the current level was 'moderate', I think they start to pay attention once it reads 'high', or once the flames are shooting 20 feet in the air.
We also get a few variations in our warnings, depending on the weather.
Apparently, Jon Bon Jovi named his album, Slippery When Wet after he had travelled on the highway from Whistler, where there are many signs bearing the term "Slippery When Wet", and had taken a liking to the phrase. Not only does the rain bring us slippery roads it also brings us our famous mudslides too...you know the ones that result in you being re-routed on some road that you've never heard of, that adds an additional 5 hours to your journey!
Then of course in the winter you get to take your chances with the seemingly increasing number of avalanches.
Yes, our province really is a beautiful place to just chill.
The photo above was taken on Saturday when we took the kids to Othello Tunnels, a nice little family outing providing the tunnels don't cave in or you don't lose your footing and plunge into the raging Coquihalla River below.
Only yesterday, I was looking at the Sun Peaks Resort website as we are thinking of heading up there for a couple of days. I'm checking out the activities and see canoeing, yes, that's what I'll do, I'll go on one of the canoe tours. The picture of this looks so relaxing, and besides, it's not like the Ogopogo lives in that lake, so obviously nothing to worry about. I shall paddle my way to Nirvana.
Then as I read about the tours, I come across this: The lakes are also home to moose, bear, and even cougars all of which are frequently spotted. Oh how nice, lining the shoreline will be a gang of animals wearing napkins tied around their necks (assuming they have good table manners) waiting to enjoy me as their picnic - the moose will play the part of maitre d' in this scenario.
Although, thinking about bears and picnics, it does remind me of that song. My mum would sing Teddy Bear's Picnic to me when I was sick as child. It always evoked nice visuals for me...the cute furry bears, with their basket full of cheese, bread, fresh strawberries and a flask of tea (not sure if they drink wine), all placed neatly on the gingham cloth that they've laid out. Somehow though, I'm not sure that's how it would play out in real life. Note to self, these animals, although adorable are WILD!! Besides, I've already had one close encounter of the cougar kind and that was plenty close enough for me!!

The funny thing though, is if you've grown up in BC these warnings are just part of the normal signage that we've become accustomed to seeing. I don't know that it stops any of us from going where we want to go, for us it's just part of the package.
It does make me wonder though, how this prevailing doom is viewed by people visiting us from other countries - maybe that's part of our 'wild west' appeal.
I've travelled to the UK several times and don't ever remember seeing any signs warning me of pending doom. I suppose they could post signs saying 'you are in sheep country'....this may delay your journey while you wait for them to cross the road....I have experienced that before. Or perhaps they could start labelling the sticks of rock that they sell at the seaside with, 'warning, tooth dislodging may occur during the consumption of this product' - that would be good to know before hand. Nope, I think the worst thing I had to worry about was 'minding the gap'...which seeing as I'm small, is a warning I do heed, I certainly don't want to fall onto the railway tracks - not good! No wonder I enjoy my time in the UK so much, it's a place that I can truly relax, far from the pending doom of holidays in my neck of the woods. The closest thing to danger was maybe when I walked some of the Pembrokeshire Coastal Path. My boyfriend at the time and I, walked about a 12 mile portion of the 186 mile beautiful cliff top path. The sheer drops weren't too much of a worry but we did cross a section that had signs reading, 'WARNING: SHOOTING RANGE' - 'please call such and such phone number to ensure safe passage', or you can take a detour that re-routes you into the village then meets up on the path further along. Hmm, what to do....remember this was before the days o'cell phones so we'd first have to find a phone to make that call - big time waster in my book, and I really wanted to continue along the actual trail. My boyfriend turns to me and says, 'what should we do?'. I ponder for a split second and say, I think we should make a run for it, just run straight on through and if we hear any shots being fired....just start to ZIG-ZAG!!! Seemed like the obvious choice to me, after all, it's not like bears were doing the shooting!! So that day, the man from Southampton had a little taste of what it was like to relax 'Canadian style'! Personally, I found the whole experience quite refreshing!

Green With Envy??

Ok, this is my son Owen trying his best to look fierce. He is posing in the cut-out of Rambo that is next to the visitor centre in Hope - where the movie Rambo: First Blood was filmed. All good you say, nothing says fun like letting my 4 year pretend that he's toting a machine gun. Oddly enough, what bothers me isn't that so much, it's the fact that Rambo's skin is green?! I can only speculate that he either just got off of a river rafting excursion on the Coquihalla River and is feeling a little sick, or perhaps he is a little envious of the Incredible Hulk?? Either way, if it wasn't for the fact that his skin is green, I could've easily fooled people into thinking that Owen had really bulked up in preparation for the Mr. Mini Universe competition...now clearly with the skin not matching...there is no 'Hope' in fooling anyone!! Doh!!!

Just Because....

...I loved the colours in this sunset.
I took this photo tonight, after noticing a bright orange light shining through my window. Unfortunately, some of the colouration is due to the forest fires currently burning in BC. The colours reminded me of a Cezanne painting though, so that's good...our forests burning out of control...not so good!

I, Said the Fly, With My Little Eye...

Ok, I just had this flashback of a song that my nan sang to me as a kid. The uplifting tune was called, 'Who Killed Cock Robin' (full rhyme available on Wiki).
*Spoiler Alert* - the Sparrow is guilty!
It is best sung with a slow sorrow-filled voice...super for small children!! It's a lovely rhyme about the bird community coming together to bury one of their own - with the aid of some of the other local animals.
It's a sad atmospheric tune, and my nan really knew how to deliver this song well. Not sure if anyone I know even knows of this catchy little number, maybe people with a British background...oh, how the Brits love to sing songs of mayhem to their kids!!
Anyways, despite the morbid content, it brings back good memories for me...for the Robin - not so much!

Boeuf of the Week

Ok, here's my latest rant...
The commercial for MultiGrain Cheerios....and I mean the ridiculous 'American version'. The one where they've dubbed an American accent over the British accent....and to add insult to injury, it's an extra annoying American accent!!
Do me a favour! Was it that difficult to understand?? They played the British one for months and then all of a sudden, along comes this new version. Did Americans complain that they couldn't understand what they were saying?? Maybe they could've made it easier but slowing it down or perhaps adding sub-titles.

Sub-title example -
Actual British version - 'what are you eating?'

American sub-title - 'what are you eating?'

Perceived British version (Steve's part to be voiced by *Dick Van Dyke) -

'ello Gov'nah' wot's dat you eatin' den? Cor, day look good don't 'ay, I could murder meself a bowl of dem. Maawl-ee grain you say? Well, I nevah.
You lookin to drop a few stone den darlin'...ah don't be daft, corse you don't need-oo...but it's much bet-ah for you den a bacon sarnie in'it? Etc, etc...

*(Van Dyke's attempt at a cockney accent was cited as one of the worst film accents in a 2003 poll by movie magazine Empire.)

My solution is to release a third version of this commercial...
In this version, it would start off 'American'...then when the woman asks, 'what else does the box say?'
I'd like John Cleese to pop out of the box and say...'my parrots dead, my parrots dead'! Then he'd start asking for cheese....(check out YouTube for full understanding of these references ;-) )
I think that would be no more absurd then the current 'Wonder bread' version!!

Now, not even a 'Spoon Full of Sugar' could make me cereal taste good now....it's put me right off.
They've made a right dogs dinner of it!!!

Things That Make My Heart Smile

This feature is mainly set up to remind me all of the things that I love, from the big to the small, and from the common to the obscure. It will be a good reminder to me and maybe you too, of all the things in life that make us happy. I think it's important to find joy everywhere, as I've always been a naturally optimistic person, I try to find something good in almost all situations. If you're open to it, I think in a way, it finds you. It is second nature to me, as it's how my mother is, and how she taught us, and how it was shared with her by her parents and grandparents. I notice my own kids picking up on things in a similar way now too, which makes me really grateful. Life is going to throw you it's fair share of curve balls, but if instead of always trying to dodge them, maybe if you thought...wow, that ball sounded wicked flying past my head...you'd at least come away with something good. As I am a self confessed kooky chick, my list may have elements to it that seem downright oddball, but that is where the pleasure lies. Being aware to of these things for me is being 'alive' and appreciating the experience of being able to kick around on this ol' planet called Earth for awhile.

The List....

Big puffy cotton bally clouds - these make me crazy with love!

Trees, trees and more trees. Bare crooked Halloweeny kinds, big majestic oaks, weeping willows all swaying in the wind, fire coloured fall trees, full of blossoms trees, odd textured trunk trees....any type of tree!!

The snapping sound of a perfectly ripe grape!! Ya know that little 'snap' when you bite into a grape in its prime...so sweet and lovely.

The colour of prune plums....I love the variation of their colouring...how parts of them even look dusty. When I lived in Surrey, we had plum trees and I loved picking them and studying how amazing their patterns were - quite exquisite I thought! Also the contrast of colour from the outside to the inside, most cool indeed!!

School House Rock!!
'Conjunction, Junction, What's Your Function??' and 'I'm Just a Bill' were two of my favourites! Both performed by jazz great Jack Sheldon...he is one cool cat!! I think that this would've been a fantastic way to learn all of our lessons at school...in the form of some catchy little ditty...I would've got straight A's had that been the case! Thanks to YouTube, I can relive these moments over and over again....also available on DVD, must buy that!

Mr. Dress-Up - my favourite show as a kid. I thought that he was just the greatest artist...evah!! I loved the shelves that were full of toy animals and of course the Tickle Trunk...man...how could you not love that!! Let's not forget Casey and Finnegan, living in their cool tree house. Although I always thought that Casey was a little cheeky, I just adored Finnegan...with his floppy gray ears, I thought he was sweetest dog. Just thinking about his cute little face makes me happy! The only part of the show that I didn't like was when Mr. Dress-Up would go over to talk to the sinister owl...as much as I've always loved birds...this one scared me. He'd be all sleepy in that picture and then every now and then he'd wake up and say some cryptic message!! I'd think, please Mr. Dress-Up, just keep walking...don't stop to look at him!!

The number 7 - always my favourite number. I was born on the 27th in 1967, at 11:07 and weighed 7lbs 13oz, ooh, and my name has 7 letters. I think that's where it started and the number has just always felt right to me. The house where I lived in Surrey had two 7's in its address, as does the house where I live now. The list goes on and on.

Star-filled nights - for some reason, this still can take my breath away. I think seeing a dark night sky full of twinkling lights is just magical. I whirl around like a child with complete fascination whenever I witness this sight.

Donkeys - I don't know what it is about them, but I just think they're really lovely.

The sound of a baseball being hit...by a wooden bat. I don't know how to put that sound into words, but I think we're all familiar with it. It's a great sound.

Ok, that's the beginning of my list, I will continue to add to it as I think of other things that bring me joy. :-D

Boeuf of the Week

Okay my first entry for 'Boeuf of the Week' comes courtesy of my dentist appointment yesterday. Just a regular check-up/cleaning...no biggie really. My boeuf is with the hygienist that I had, a lovely woman - don't get me wrong, but I believe that I could have easily suffered my demise in the recline position of her chair yesterday.
My issue is her lack of suctioning skills....for some reason during the 'always fun' scaling portion of the visit, she found it necessary to keep the water gun thingy running at a force that I'm sure is the equivalent to the pressure used by the fire department, in combo with just leaving the suction thingy hooked to the side of my mouth...which I might add, gave me a frightening insight into how a hooked fish must feel!! Now, she did occasionally, pick it up and suction, but nowhere as often as I needed. She seemed to be getting lost in her own world, humming away to soft rock tunes....and personally, I could do without an even softer version of the likes of Air Supply and Phil Collins!! For the love of God....isn't it about time that we made soft rock radio stations illegal??!! Also, given the fact that it is extremely hard to swallow with two hands jammed in your mouth - well lets just say I'm happy to have made it out alive!!
Note to my family - if at some point this is indeed how my life is to end, please put in my obituary that I died in a water related accident - that sounds so much more adventurous than saying...I popped my clogs as a result of choking on a lethal cocktail of my own saliva infused with the freezing cold dentist water....oooh the humanity!!!

Flavah of the Month

Okay, this is a new addition to my blog, although one that I had planned on doing since I started SAM. As you may already know, I love music...if you didn't already know that, you obviously haven't read my entry 'I've Got the Music in Me'...and if that's the case shame on you!...I shall send you to the dungeon where you can think about what you've done - or in this case, haven't done!
I have always searched out new music, as I've always found radio a bit bland.
Unfortunately I think a lot of the best music never finds the audience that it deserves. I find new music in a variety of ways, through reviews, friends' recommendations, or diggin' around the internet and sometimes, just sometimes, when the stars align, the music just makes its way to me. That is the case with the first artist to be featured as 'Flavah of the Month'.
FYI, these are the kind of flavahs that you'll want to go back to time and time again, like a great classic vanilla ice cream as opposed to a licorice ice cream...blaaaah, please don't even tell me that you like that!! Gawd it looks like 'tar in a cone'....nummers?!!
The point is, I don't view these as passing fancies, I'll choose artists that I believe have substance and ones that I look forward to following their careers. In this feature, I will share wid ya what I'm currently listening to, some may have been around for awhile and some are quite new...but I think all of them are pretty great. Hopefully, you'll have a listen and agree.

So without further adieu - how fancy hey?! ;-) (I guess that was further adieu!)
My first 'Flavah of the Month' is....Chris Keys! (Insert fireworks sound effects now). He's a 26 year old, singer/songwriter from Belfast, Northern Ireland. An unsigned gem.
His songs are rich and full, and well put together. His voice has a beautiful tone to it, and has an essence about it that just draws you in.
Check out his sites for a video sampling. Shooting Star is a catchy little tune that will have you singing along by the second playing of it, and Under the Streetlight is a beautiful song that has a soothing quality about it - the chorus just kills me...so sweet to my ears. More info on Chris can be found through the following links - check 'em out, more fab songs are posted there... become a fan on Facebook, order his EP, download his songs or just drop him a line and let him know what you think.

http://www.myspace.com/chrisjkeys,
http://chriskeys.com/

One year later....

Well, it's been one year since I started this blog and I've been lucky enough to have a few of my peeps interested enough to read it, and for that, I thank you!
The original reason I started this was to empty my head every now and then of all of the craziness that goes on inside it...whether it be my poems, or short stories or just my random ramblings. I haven't added much of late, but hopefully that will change with the aid of some new features that will allow me to add more in less time.
Don't get me wrong...the short stories will still appear, it's just that free time is somewhat scarce and to find a block of time to write a longer piece is difficult. Plus the fact that I go over them again, and again to make sure they say exactly what is in my head and I don't post them until I'm happy with the finished product...well, let me tell ya kids...it can take a while!! I do have one story that has been it the works for a long time - still not happy with the flow of it, so that baby is on hold - for now. You will get from this photo an idea of how my head works...I know, it's terrifying isn't it!! This mass of paper is what flies out at me, like one of those cans o'fake snakes every time I open my file drawer. This is about 20+ poems that are in the works...sometimes I write a poem in one fast and furious session and other times, the smallest thing will inspire a line or two in me and I just jot those down. Often these ideas come to me while I'm driving to work aka my 'alone' time. I have to write them down as soon as they enter my head or they will be forever lost in the great abyss known as my brain. I often do this while I'm driving, which by the way I don't recommend, but that is the reason that they are written on the likes of a napkin and in my work note pad.
My head always has about a gazillion ideas whizzing through, so I have papers everywhere with ideas scribbled down...yup, I do have a journal to write this stuff down in an orderly fashion but it is located 2 drawers down in my file...so obviously, super inconvenient to get to!!! What am I like?! They will make it to the 'good copy book' at some point, but in the meantime my ideas are floating around all over the place in a fashion that's similar to the sensation you get when you rub your eyes...ya know what I'm saying?? All them floaty things everywhere that make you question...did I do LSD?? Tres weird!
So, coming to a theatre near you soon-ish are new features like, 'Flavah of the Month' - a journey into the music that I'm diggin. 'Boeuf of the Week' - a place to vent about the stupidities of man-kind, 'Things That Make My Heart Smile' - a list of random things that I adore, and I may even throw in a few things that I wrote with an old pal of mine, under the title, 'Adventures of Pat & Marge'.
So please stay tuned folks.....plenty more madness to come!! Insert evil laugh track now..

I've Got The Music In Me.

Yup, it's true....I am wired for sound.
There is little in life that I enjoy more than music. I am a junkie and I got hooked at a pretty early age.
Our house was always filled with music, especially on a Sunday. While some people attended church, we learned to worship the Gods of music. For my mum, these were the likes of Hank Williams, Dolly Parton, Loretta Lynn and pretty much anyone else who grew up singing on a porch somewhere in rural America. My mum could tell you, who hit the bottle too much, who cheated on who, who owned a three-legged dog....whatever you needed to know - she could tell ya. She also loved Engelbert, Johnny Mathis and of course Tom Jones - if you're Welsh, it's the law, you have to love the Tom. Failing to do so would result in being stoned to death or being burned at the stake....I believe you had the choice.
My dad on the other hand, loved the Rat Pack, especially Frank and Dean. Those were definitely the most played, but his record collection was vast and varied. Motown artists, big band, show tunes, pretty much a little of everything.
He housed his collection in a front room closet that he converted with just shelves to hold his hundreds of records. He also went to the effort of cataloguing each and every one, and assigning them with a reference number, that I'm pretty sure could only be cracked with the aid of an Enigma machine.
Every Sunday, for many years of my childhood I would be awoken by the sounds of my dad singing to Frank or Dean in his microphone - yes, not only did he have a mic, he had a reel to reel set up and a lightbox from Radio Shack that would pulsate to the beat of the music and send off the most dazzling array of colours throughout our living room. We had our own Vegas style lounge right in our house. On occasion, if friends were over on the weekend, I would have to hurry them past the living room down the hall to my room. Then once in the safety of my room, they'd ask....'was that your dad?' I'd reply, 'I've never seen that man before!'
On trying to escape out of the house we'd again, have to pass this spectacle, I would have to warn, 'pay no attention to the man behind the curtain, well more correctly - saloon doors. My parents actually installed saloon doors between our living room and kitchen - I guess the feeling of the 'wild west' was a decorating trend circa 1977?! Perhaps an ode to Gunsmoke?
Next, heading out the back door we'd have to pass by my brother and some random hippie friend, playing guitar on the back steps. I could tell which one was my brother due to the Dylan t.shirt which he was rarely without, other than that give away, they all looked the same to me. Shaggy brown hair, sandals and a guitar.
Most of my childhood memories have some sort of musical connection.
Whether it be searching for an Elton John poster to give my brother Jeff for his birthday, or having my other brother, David, try to convince me to make him 'flame pants'. Yet another one of his hairbrain ideas, he thought this could be part of his stage get-up. Inspired by KISS, he was ready to hit the world of rock n' roll and hit it hard. Never mind the fact that he had no musical talent to speak of, all he needed was some cool jeans with flames on the legs and the ability to shoot flames from his mouth! The latter, he could do! This would be only one of many schemes that he would try and recruit me for...I'm sometimes amazed that I managed to survive all of it!
Even our TV viewing usually involved music. Despite the fact that we only had channels U-13 and had to 'clunk,clunk' our way to each one of them, we still managed to fill our that big ol' console screen with tunes.
Parent faves of Lawrence Welk ( ah-one and ah-two, and of course the bubbles) and Hee Haw with Mr. Roy Clark, and then the shows that they would try and convince us were for us, Donny and Marie and the Rene Simard Show (granted he was hotter than Lawrence).
I can even remember being about 15, at McDonald's with a few friends, and singing along to the muzak. I hadn't even realized that I was doing so, until several songs in, one of my friends said, 'how do you know all of this music?'
I replied, this is Charles Aznavour...don't you know it too? It was then that I realized that indeed, I had the music in me.
There is no escaping it and for that, I am very grateful growing up exposed to such an appreciation for music.
Music has soothed me through every rough patch in life and been with me to celebrate the triumphs and every emotion in between. It can take me away to almost anywhere that I want to be, and in almost any situation, I really can find the answer in a song.
There is no greater joy for me, than to listen to a good song. One of the best things that I've passed on to my kids is my love for music and now I have 2 boys who love music as intensely as I do.
I've got the music in me....and now, so do they!

Buggin' Out!!

Ok, let me set the scene for you....I've just set off for work, lovely crisp morning, the sweet sounds of Ron Sexsmith fill my car, perfect conditions for a nice relaxing commute to Abbotsford.
I'm only a couple of blocks from my home, and as I pull up to the stop sign.....I see it....yes IT!! He is sitting there with evil intent in his eyes, and he's looking at ME...GULP!!
I'm pretty sure he has massive fangs and if I had a microscope in my glove box...I could've confirmed that fact, but as I don't always carry one with me, you'll just have to believe what I say to be true. My initial feeling of sheer terror has now at least been replaced with only mild terror. You see, on first spotting I thought my it was a spider who decided to hitch a ride on my steering column but upon my second glance I can see it's just some weird coloured beetle-y thing. Not much bigger than a ladybug, but still big enough to take a sizable chunk out of my body if he so desired! Now, I know that I'm a big ol'loser when it comes to the bug world and I'm fully aware of how irrational my fear is.....so there is no need to give me the old...'do you know how big you look to that little bug routine'...heard it all before...and yup, small though I am...I am bigger than a bug. Got it.
To give myself a little credit, I am getting a wee bit better with this fear of multi-legged things...(sorry for getting all technical there.) I try not to inflict pain...okay...KILL a bug on his own turf. I have made that pact with the bug community long ago, but when they enter into my own space, well then, it's sort of like when an opposing gang strolls through your territory...ya know, like I'm the Crips and they're the Bloods....wearing their little bandana's, showing up in my hood, and getting all up in my face.
Okay, clearly I have been watching way too much Lockdown....note to self, cut down the watching of prison documentaries to 2 episodes per night, max!
Anyways I think you get where I'm coming from....he's on my turf!
There are several breaks in the traffic, giving me plenty of opportunity to leave my place at the stop sign, but I can't move until I can sort out this tough dilemma.
If I leave him be, one of two things will surely happen...both with dire consequences. I could ignore him, just forget he's there (ya right!), but if I do that, and at some point he hits the runway for take off, well then I may get startled and drive into oncoming traffic...this would cause a chain reaction of brake slammers, and undoubtedly cause a 20-30 car pile up...not good! If I ignore him and he goes AWOL, then I would be worried as to where he went. I think we could put money on the fact that if he moved from where I could see him, he would head straight down to my leg, embedding himself under my skin...where he would go unnoticed for weeks, feeding on my flesh until he got so big that there would be a noticeable lump under my skin and one day it would just POP!! I think this may've happened to someone before...I think I saw a show about it on TLC.
So I guess for my safety, and that of the public too, I must 'deal' with him.
Now if he had picked the ledge of my door to sit on, then I would've merely given him a light flick to freedom. As he's chosen a slightly rounded place to sit, I can't risk trying to get him to climb on a piece of paper so I could then release him...to difficult to maneuver - I'm afraid I'm left with no choice other than a quick and hopefully painless 'disposal'.
Now, I'm not one to normally play the 'damsel in distress' card, but GAWD if there is ever a time when I feel tied to the tracks, it's when I'm faced with those in the creepy crawly world. I am alone though...and I must do it.
I open the glove box to grab a napkin to help me do the deed. DAMN!! Where is a grease stained Wendy's napkin when you need one - another note to self...eat at Wendy's more often and always ask for extra napkins!
I need to make my move fast before he starts to smell death in the air and tries to make a move. I go into my work bag and pull out a tissue...I don't really want to use it though, they are my 'best-use sparingly' ones. I'll have to use one...making this choice even worse is the fact that they have butterflies printed on them.
Now if that isn't a slap in the face to him...killing him with a 'bug themed' weapon.
On the other hand, knowing that the last thing he'll see is a butterfly coming at him...well it's almost like I'm not even doing it. The butterfly did it, in the silver Corolla, with the candlestick!!
I make my move...quick as lightning, it's over. Now what do I do? I have one balled up tissue in my hand containing the remains (I hope). I don't want to open it to confirm that he's in there, nor do I want to leave it in my car, in case he's still in there, playing dead until I reach work and he can make his escape.
UGHH!! Now I decide the only way to be done with this whole awful experience is to dump the body...I hate holding this thing in my hand...I need to think quick.
Within the next few blocks I decide to do something that I NEVER do....and I do mean NEVER...I have to litter!!! Could this story have any more ugly turns in it?!
I'm practically breaking out in a cold sweat at the thought of littering....see I'm not such a bad person after all...take that, you who chose to judge me early in this story!! ;-)
Once again, I feel that I have no choice and looking around I see one lone construction dude walking on the road, I wait until he turns his head for a split second and woosh...out my window it goes. I look in my rear view mirror and see my little tissue bounce on the ground and come to it's final resting spot.
In the span of a few blocks and only minutes into my commute...my serene feeling is long gone. Five minutes ago, I was happily singing along to 'Hard Bargain' relaxing in my office on wheels and now, as I approach Fraser Hwy....I hang my head in shame. I am a murderer!!
No, it's worse than that, I'm a murderer - who litters!!
So there you have it, I'm admitting my crime and I do indeed, feel remorse, so I think that I am a good candidate for rehabilitation! With the right programs I will become a better person...I promise.

Hmm....I guess watching all those hours of Lockdown were good for me after all!!