Saturday, October 25, 2008

Truth in Advertising??




Well this is one of those cases where if there really is any truth in advertising...I know which home I'd rather live in.

Each week, while leaving my White Rock store, I pass an area that is full of new townhouse developments. Of course, as they are only in the building stages, they have to depend on their billboards to convey to you the good life you'll be living if you choose their development.
We've all seen these signs before, usually comprised of images like: a lady walking in a field of wild flowers, or a couple on their patio having a cup of full froth coffee...one person usually has their head tilted back in laughter, obviously amused at the hilarious joke that their partner has just told them and let's not forget the shot of families, all holding hands, kids wearing matching sweaters that of course colour compliment those of their parents (not that I take issue with that) and of course everyone is smiling and not a tantrum in sight. Good times, good times indeed.

That is the vision that the developers are selling to you....the good life. Oh what fun you'll have once you move in here.
Don't get me wrong, I love advertising and I can fully appreciate the selling of a lifestyle....even though we all know these moments are few and far between.

So if that's all that I have to go on, to chose which one of the two complexes that I would choose to live in, then I know exactly which one I'd pick.
As you can see from the photos, we have one place that will house pet owners with nice calm "lassie like" dogs, taking a break at the beach (probably just had a nice game of fetch)....or we can share a place where our new neighbours clearly like to take their rabid dogs out for walks on the beach.
Hmmm....lassie or mad dog lunging at me...what to do??!!!

Mind you looking at the photos again, I can see in the rabid dog one another picture of a person who appears to be attempting to take a dive off the end of a boat that is on land....ok, it's crystal clear now...one place is for nut jobs...of human and animal variety, while the other is for the sane.

Now, how am I going to choose!!! ;-)

Friday, October 17, 2008

Stop the Insanity!!

Okay, it's well documented that I am indeed fussy, my mum has called me a fuss-ass for as long as I can remember. I don't have a problem with the title though, nope not at all, because if I didn't hold this title...which unfortunately doesn't come with a sash or crown...well then there'd be the chance that I would become one of those 'other' people.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure some of those other people are lovely, even if they have been driving me to the brink of insanity lately!
I'm talking about those people, who for some reason have no problem leaving their homes to be viewed by the public at large, in clothes that I would have thought best belonged in the 'to be used as rags' pile....MEOW!!

I do my best to block them out, but like a moth to a flame, I can't help myself. I have a hard time taking my eyes off of them....even though I tell myself...look away from the horror lest you'll be scarred for life!
Now I know that people aren't going to don their finest when they are just picking up their kids from school, but would it be too much to expect that maybe we could do a little better than sweat pants.
Lately it seems that the vast majority of people waiting for their kids have come straight from an audition of What Not To Wear....I know, MEOW again!!

In the past few weeks I have witnessed, ill fitted pants o'plenty, including many that are way too short, and no they weren't Capri's.
The bold mixing of patterns that has resulted in the same effect, that being spun in a dryer after a large meal would have...not good!
People wearing more colours than any rainbow I've ever seen.
Clothes that have had food stains on, clearly a lot of misjudging of where the mouth is has been going on.
Note to all, it's the opening below the nose.
And as I've mentioned enough sweat pants to, when tied leg to leg, would stretch from here to St. Johns. RAAAHHH!!
I'm not talking even 'nice' sweatpants...I'm talking the kind that have obviously been lived in for a very long time, air conditioned at the knee, elastic at the ankles...need I say more?

It just seems that so many Canadians have decided that sloppy is ok...well, my fellow citizens I'm hear to scream...IT'S NOT!!
We are better than that people, let's not turn into our neighbours to the south where for some people, sweat pants paired with a matching sweat shirt is considered 'formal wear'!

It's not about having money, it's about style and more importantly pride.
In fact, having a lot of money to spend on clothes often has it's downside, as people are lured into the false sense of security that if they paid a lot of money for a piece of clothing than it must be good and they must be lookin' fine in it.
This can be a deadly assumption...why do you think that airports the world over are filled with rich ladies sporting white suits with gold lame' accents, tops covered with gold appliqued animals on and hideous bejewelled sandals that they jam their fat feet in!! Think about it...you've seen them too.
Head held high due to the fact that they assume they look good owing to the $1500.00 they plunked down to look that way.

So I beg of you, please treat yourself better.
Learn what looks good on your body type, know your size (your real size, if you're a large...don't buy a medium - nobody is going to look at your tag when you're out), don't wear more colours at one time than are in Joseph's technicolour dream coat, and less pattern than grandmas quilt is always a good rule to follow.
Well fitted basics in good quality fabrics is virtually fool proof.

And if you have to wear sweat pants, please do me a favour...for public viewing, let's shoot for no elastic at the ankles, no holes, a colour other than grey and let's really push the boat out and look for something with maybe a little embroidery.
All the above were suggestions of the 'if you have to' scenario...let it be known that the wearing of sweat pants has not been endorsed by me.

Changing sloppy people into fuss-asses one person at a time.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Bloomin' Lovely!


I love flowers. Well, I'm sure you're thinking, don't most women? I'm guessing the answer to that question is probably, yes.
I came to realize the other day, just how closely my life is associated with flowers.
My mother was a florist, as was her mother, and her grandmother....yep, Mel broke the tradition that had been going for the previous three generations. Nice one!
My father was also an avid gardener and his father was a professional gardener.
In a couple of my previous jobs, I have dabbled in the world of 'smellies'...so I do believe some slack should be cut.

When I think of my life being connected with flowers though, I mean it seems that every time I harken back to my childhood, flowers, and trees too, play a big part of those memories.

Although I was never blown away with the tulip as a child...given the fact that like most gardens of that time, we had the usual yellow and red flowers planted here and there...not to any great effect really. I did always think that there was something quite magical about the way they looked inside, once those petals would start to open in the morning, it was like you were treated to a secret surprise they had been keeping all night. Then I visited Keukenhof Gardens in the Netherlands and was absolutely gobsmacked at seeing these flowers en masse...now that's something to google sometime....Kuekenhof Garden-images...wow!!!
It looks like mother nature kicked off the top of a paint box to reveal the most stunning colours and then she painted them into the most amazing patterns. Must return there...soon.


As a little girl I always loved the look of the sweet pea flowers in our garden, I loved their beautiful colours and how delicate they looked. There is just something, well, sweet about them. They look innocent and have this intoxicating fragrance, and the way their tendrils would wrap around things always fascinated me, like a long skinny finger reaching out to be held.
Near to where the sweet peas grew, I had my own little garden which basically consisted on mint, which of course was added to potatoes being cooked by either my mother or grandmother. We had a big vegetable garden and lots of fruit trees too, and an array of flowers that wrapped around the house in flower beds, as well as various other trees throughout the property. A rose garden complete with tiny signs that my father painted indicating each variety of rose, the rose garden really smelled lovely.

Many of my summer days, I would sit alone of my front steps and admire the magnificent and complex flowers on our massive peony bush. The huge flowers were a beautiful magenta colour and I always thought how cool they looked, from before they bloomed, and were in this tight ball shaped bud to when they were fully opened to reveal layer after layer of petals, rather spectacular.
Then I would turn my attention to the lovely little strawberries dangling from the wild strawberry plant that was in a container on the corner of the steps. Pick and eat the ripe ones and calculate how many days until the next few would be ready.
I then wander around to the money plant and pull off a few 'silver dollars', I would try to pull them apart to have a closer look at the seeds inside.

Often when my grandparents visited, my nan would ask me and my brother to go and fetch some conkers from the ground so she could show us how to play one of her favourite childhood games. This is the same nan, that would also pay my brother and I a quarter to pick a bucket full of dandelion flowers, so she could make wine with it...thanks for introducing us to the world of alcohol!! ;-)
They had a big field next to their house and that's where you could find us....making 'two-bit's per bucket...I'd say we were slightly underpaid!!!
Should've started a union!!

Every fall I would highly anticipate....as I still do to this day...the changing colour of the leaves. This has always been my favourite time of the year, maybe in part...(and I'm just thinking of this as I type)...because the colour is so bold and in your face, and unlike the bright summer flowers, where the colour is usually close to the ground, trees have the height advantage to really show off their stuff.
There is something quite cozy and cocooning about being surrounded by those colours, it just makes me feel warm and good.

Winter would roll around and the big holly tree that we had was visible through our front living room window and when it was covered in snow, with it's red berry accents poking through, well it was a sight to behold.
There would be great excitement when the first snow drop showed itself and we always had tiny vases in the house filled with snowdrops and bluebells as a preview of what colour would soon be heading our way.

My mum would also will spring on by cutting a few branches of any of our blossoming trees as soon as there was a sign of a bud on them. Just the bare branches in a vase was a lovely visual, but the blossoms would show up soon and remind us, that indeed warmer weather was coming.

I would also spend alot of my time sitting up high in one of our three horse- chestnut trees, sometimes I would write poetry, sometimes I would escape from my father when he was in a 'mood' and sometimes I would just sit up there and think. No one knew I was there so it was my secret little hideaway.

So it does seem that there are few childhood memories that don't include some kind of association with flowers and trees....I guess I really could say that my childhood was, well, bloomin lovely!

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Citizens of Capilano


We waited, and we waited, and waited, and waited.....

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Keepin' your cool.

Ok, one thing that I've always been sure of...I was planning on keeping my cool once I became a parent.

No siree, I was not going to get a 'mum' hair-do, nor would I be sporting elastic waist jeans and I'd just say 'no' to practical shoes.

I had no intention of carrying around a pastel colour diaper bag with a cute teddy bear on the side either. Nope, I found myself a very cool black messenger style bag, that to look at, you'd never guess was crammed with wipes, diapers, extra baby clothes, Cheerios, bottles, soothers, toys, and all the other necessities needed to take out a human (weighing less than 10 lbs) for an hour of shopping.

And nix-ay on the kiddie tunes as well...only the Wiggles managed to slide under the radar on this one. On the whole though, both my kids thought that John Mayer, Maroon 5 and Jamie Cullum was 'their' music, and I was being very nice to let them listen to 'their' music all the time. I say you have to train them young to insure that they have good taste in music. That's what my parents did, so really I'm just keeping up with tradition....time to say, 'aaaaah'.

I have also tried to instill a sense of style upon them as well. Being that I have a background in fashion, I couldn't stand the thought of them cruising around, wearing sweat pants and gum boots, one pant leg tucked in, one out, paired with a non-coordinated shirt....perish the thought!!! Just typing that visual makes me go all light headed.

All in all, I'd say I've done a pretty good job at keeping my cool since becoming a mum. I'm a non-mum hair, zipper jean wearing, black boot sportin' mama, with stylin' kids in tow. But as all of you who are parents will already know and all of you parents of the future will find out....sometimes, you have no control over your cool....DAMN!!!

I'm referring to the precious moments where your kids need to speak their minds, and they need to speak it LOUD.

A couple of months back, after Gavyn's soccer game, I was heading to the parking lot and having a chat with the coach. To set the scene for you a little better, coach Ross is about...I'd say 23, if that, and a bit of a 'dude' if ya know what I mean.
He's a volunteer firefighter, and a bartender at a local restaurant.
This was his first year coaching, and as we were walking I was asking him if he'd be coaching next year, as Gavyn said he'd sign up next season if he could be on coach Ross's team again.
So we're talking about that, and then he's telling me that we should come to the restaurant where he works, good Italian food, etc.
Tony and the boys have gone ahead towards the cars. So we are fully in one of those 'long lost' adult conversations....he's giving me tips about what to order at the restaurant, talking about the fresh authentic ingredients that they use, etc.

When we get up to the cars, Owen is crying and poor Tony is frustrated, and Gavyn is as impatient as ever....
I'm trying to finish listening to Ross when Owen comes up beside me....'mum'....'mum'....muuuum....'MUM'!!! I do my best to ignore him for the moment but he's not going anywhere.
I don't want to be rude and cut coach off mid-sentence, but Owen is persistent.
I apologize and look at Owen...."what do you want O??'. I'm annoyed because like most kids his age, mum is the first person that they go to, even if dad is standing right there.

He replies...'I NEED TO POO!!!!'

Yup, there you have it...the moments where you no longer have any control over your 'cool' factor. Lucky for me, as this is kid number 2, I've already had lots of these moments, so they don't phase me so much anymore.
Ross just laughed and I said, 'sorry, it looks like duty calls, I guess I'm heading home now'.

Before I left, I felt like warning him ....ooh, coach Ross, your time will come....and when it does, not even that eyebrow piercing is gonna help save your cool!!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

And the songbird keeps singing....

I am a song bird.

Not necessarily one of those birds that you'd enjoy listening to, but one who sings never the less. The good bit is, I have no illusions, as some of those ' I pity the fool' people on Idol do, that I sing well. The bad bit is, I don't really care how I sound....I'm going to sing anyways. Don't get me wrong, I'm not terrible, I have spent a few years in my youth in choir. Did productions of Tom Sawyer....'scat, scat, scat...darn that cat, drat that cat' and of course the epic 9 page song that we did from Joseph and his super d-duper colourful coat....'way, way back many centuries ago'... etc. I can also remember the vocal exercises, moo, moe, ma, may ,me...what the hell the point of that was is beyond me. Regardless of true talent, I sing because I love to and I do it often, as in daily.
Aah, but not to worry, where I lack in real vocal talent, I more than make up for in creative song choice and the way I re-tool a song.
Let's just say, I take a song and 'make it my own', thank you Paula for having one sentence that makes sense.

The latest ditty that I have been singing is the lovely tune, 'Dude Looks Like a Lady', by Aerosmith. But, in my version I's kickin' it Ella style. Complete with a whole round of scatting thrown in for good measure. I think I sang this about 20 times the other morning, each time changing it up a bit...gotta keep it fresh.
I also do a rather wicked version of 'Rock and Roll All Night', by Kiss, in the style of, hmmm, let's see, I'd say, picture Nana Mouskouri singing around a campfire...that's how I'd call it. I can really bring down the house with this one.

And because I truly am a creative soul, when I'm not working my own versions of the 'classics', I make up my own tunes. Sometimes sung to the tune of a popular song and sometimes purely my own composition. Quite often these little gems are sung with a 1940's vibe....as I really do believe in my previous life I was one of those songbirds sent to entertain the troops...(no, not in that way!)...ya know, like I was the lost Andrew sister. I know what you're thinking...you're 'lost' alright sista!!

I also sing back answers to the kids....'no we don't have any cookies, so stop asking me before you drive me insane'...all sung in a pleasant manner of course.
Sometimes Owen will say, "STOP SINGING"! I know he's just kidding though, he loves it, not fooling me Mr. Brown Eyes. Oooh that reminds me, 'don't it make my brown eyes blue....'

Yep, I do break into song on a regular basis. Good thing for you to note though, unless you're living with me, you may never have to suffer the sweet sounds of my singing. Did I say 'suffer??' I meant, you may never get to enjoy the sweet sounds of my singing.

At least, I think they said I sounded sweet....couldn't hear them over my singing.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Fashion Math

Black underwear + white linen trousers = WRONG!!!