But wait...

It's the line, I always wait to hear....you know it's coming, the final ploy to get you to buy something on an infomercial. I guess it terms of hook, line and sinker...it would be the sinker.

The hook of course, is the product. Be it the sham-wow (made by the Germans don't cha know), or the knife that you can cut a pop can with or maybe some of those stylin' blue blocker sunglasses or my new favourite, mighty putty.

The line, is having those incredibly dynamic aka mentally unstable folks that hawk the stuff. They tell you of all the benefits of the product and why you need them to make your life better. They are usually men, who have to shout the benefits of the products to you despite the fact that they are usually hooked up with some head mic that makes them look like there may be a chance, at any given moment they may break into song ala Britney...well song-ish.
I guess the shouting shows you how enthused they are about the product and they just want to make sure that you hear the benefits of their goods.
I can't count the number of times that I've had to cut a pop can in half, just before I need to cut some tomato slices for a sandwich... so handy to be able to do that with one knife, instead of the days when I used to bring my hacksaw indoors...a big time saver for sure!!
And by the time I take my next sun filled vacation I will make sure that I am donning a pair of blue blockers...I guess if I headed to Florida, they may even have other styles available there...the Del Boca Vista series maybe or perhaps the Golden Girls line...sounds sexy non??
The fact that they are big enough to cover half of my face is a real bonus, it means that I'll be saving money hand over fist on sunscreen...now I only need to do my chin and the top inch of my forehead...AWESOME!!!
I know for a fact Tony is leaning heavily towards the sham-wow...he has been using a similar product...let's call it the sham-PNE for years and swears by it.
For me though, I'm putting my money on the mighty putty. I think this will become a very useful thing to have around the home. I'm thinking if you can use it to install a shelf that will hold 350 lbs of weight, then it will be a good parenting tool as well. When I tell the kids to go in their room for a time out, no longer will I have to worry about them coming out every few minutes with the usual...'can I come out now?'...no siree, I plan on using my mighty putty to mount the kids to the wall...that way I can ensure that they won't come out until I'm good and ready to let them out!! Not sure how easy it is to remove though....hmmm, may have to read the fine print on that one!
This product really gives great value for the money, household uses, a parenting tool and the means to start up a new business!!
As Mr. Billy Mays aka GI Joe demonstrates, mighty putty can pull an 80,000 lb tractor trailer, so having that information combined with my natural entrepreneurial spirit, I figure that I may soon be entering the towing business.
All I'll need is a trailer hitch and my trusty putty....very low start up cost indeed!
I plan on concentrating on the big rig market, no more need to use those mega tow trucks, nah-uh...just Mel, my Corolla and my putty! This winter I'm going to head up and down the interior of BC looking for truckers in need, I will become like a guardian angel to these burly, lumber hauling, plaid shirt wearing, greasy spoon eating, peeing on the side of the road, dudes who made wearing a trucker hat fashionable. I may even, if the budget allows, fashion myself a halo made from pipe cleaners...kind of set me apart from the other tow truck operators.
I can hear their gruff voices calling me now....'breaker, breaker....Mel Angel we need you good buddy, do you copy?'
I will reply via my vintage cb radio, 'this is Mel Angel I read you my burly one and I will be there in a jiffy, 10-4'.
Oh, I can almost hear the sweet sounds of my bank account growing as I write this!
Note to my friends....as all new business have their hiccups, I think it would be wise for me to advise you NOT to drive behind me when I'm towing....just in case!
See, sometimes infomercials can be very useful.

But wait, if you comment on this blog in the next 4 minutes, I'm going to double the amount of time I'll be your friend....and that's not all....if you say nice things in your comment, I will keep all of the 'stuff' that I know about you to myself. Yes, you heard correctly....I will remain silent about the details of 'that' Friday night.
If you are not completely satisfied with my blog, just keep your memories of me and send me $19.95 to cover the handling costs.

Could this be
the Canadian cousin of Seinfeld's
'Assman'?? Hmmmm....

Nothing Needs to Happen

Nothing needs to happen
no expectations
nothing is going to change
same old life, it will remain

It's what you feel
that makes it real
everyday life will stay the same
it's only you that knows my name

Let the words
escape from your lips just once
speak the truth
even if no one will ever hear you

Send it to the skies above
tell them, of who you love

you tell me the same truth that you tell yourself
while the real truth sits on a shelf

From the poetry vault.

Open Your Eyes and See

A small space of light gradually grows large,
and soon after, the darkness covers it up.

Try to see the light while there is still time to,
and while there's still something to see.

Truth in Advertising??

Well this is one of those cases where if there really is any truth in advertising...I know which home I'd rather live in.

Each week, while leaving my White Rock store, I pass an area that is full of new townhouse developments. Of course, as they are only in the building stages, they have to depend on their billboards to convey to you the good life you'll be living if you choose their development.
We've all seen these signs before, usually comprised of images like: a lady walking in a field of wild flowers, or a couple on their patio having a cup of full froth coffee...one person usually has their head tilted back in laughter, obviously amused at the hilarious joke that their partner has just told them and let's not forget the shot of families, all holding hands, kids wearing matching sweaters that of course colour compliment those of their parents (not that I take issue with that) and of course everyone is smiling and not a tantrum in sight. Good times, good times indeed.

That is the vision that the developers are selling to you....the good life. Oh what fun you'll have once you move in here.
Don't get me wrong, I love advertising and I can fully appreciate the selling of a lifestyle....even though we all know these moments are few and far between.

So if that's all that I have to go on, to chose which one of the two complexes that I would choose to live in, then I know exactly which one I'd pick.
As you can see from the photos, we have one place that will house pet owners with nice calm "lassie like" dogs, taking a break at the beach (probably just had a nice game of fetch)....or we can share a place where our new neighbours clearly like to take their rabid dogs out for walks on the beach.
Hmmm....lassie or mad dog lunging at me...what to do??!!!

Mind you looking at the photos again, I can see in the rabid dog one another picture of a person who appears to be attempting to take a dive off the end of a boat that is on land....ok, it's crystal clear now...one place is for nut jobs...of human and animal variety, while the other is for the sane.

Now, how am I going to choose!!! ;-)

Stop the Insanity!!

Okay, it's well documented that I am indeed fussy, my mum has called me a fuss-ass for as long as I can remember. I don't have a problem with the title though, nope not at all, because if I didn't hold this title...which unfortunately doesn't come with a sash or crown...well then there'd be the chance that I would become one of those 'other' people.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure some of those other people are lovely, even if they have been driving me to the brink of insanity lately!
I'm talking about those people, who for some reason have no problem leaving their homes to be viewed by the public at large, in clothes that I would have thought best belonged in the 'to be used as rags' pile....MEOW!!

I do my best to block them out, but like a moth to a flame, I can't help myself. I have a hard time taking my eyes off of them....even though I tell myself...look away from the horror lest you'll be scarred for life!
Now I know that people aren't going to don their finest when they are just picking up their kids from school, but would it be too much to expect that maybe we could do a little better than sweat pants.
Lately it seems that the vast majority of people waiting for their kids have come straight from an audition of What Not To Wear....I know, MEOW again!!

In the past few weeks I have witnessed, ill fitted pants o'plenty, including many that are way too short, and no they weren't Capri's.
The bold mixing of patterns that has resulted in the same effect, that being spun in a dryer after a large meal would have...not good!
People wearing more colours than any rainbow I've ever seen.
Clothes that have had food stains on, clearly a lot of misjudging of where the mouth is has been going on.
Note to all, it's the opening below the nose.
And as I've mentioned enough sweat pants to, when tied leg to leg, would stretch from here to St. Johns. RAAAHHH!!
I'm not talking even 'nice' sweatpants...I'm talking the kind that have obviously been lived in for a very long time, air conditioned at the knee, elastic at the ankles...need I say more?

It just seems that so many Canadians have decided that sloppy is ok...well, my fellow citizens I'm hear to scream...IT'S NOT!!
We are better than that people, let's not turn into our neighbours to the south where for some people, sweat pants paired with a matching sweat shirt is considered 'formal wear'!

It's not about having money, it's about style and more importantly pride.
In fact, having a lot of money to spend on clothes often has it's downside, as people are lured into the false sense of security that if they paid a lot of money for a piece of clothing than it must be good and they must be lookin' fine in it.
This can be a deadly assumption...why do you think that airports the world over are filled with rich ladies sporting white suits with gold lame' accents, tops covered with gold appliqued animals on and hideous bejewelled sandals that they jam their fat feet in!! Think about it...you've seen them too.
Head held high due to the fact that they assume they look good owing to the $1500.00 they plunked down to look that way.

So I beg of you, please treat yourself better.
Learn what looks good on your body type, know your size (your real size, if you're a large...don't buy a medium - nobody is going to look at your tag when you're out), don't wear more colours at one time than are in Joseph's technicolour dream coat, and less pattern than grandmas quilt is always a good rule to follow.
Well fitted basics in good quality fabrics is virtually fool proof.

And if you have to wear sweat pants, please do me a favour...for public viewing, let's shoot for no elastic at the ankles, no holes, a colour other than grey and let's really push the boat out and look for something with maybe a little embroidery.
All the above were suggestions of the 'if you have to' scenario...let it be known that the wearing of sweat pants has not been endorsed by me.

Changing sloppy people into fuss-asses one person at a time.

Bloomin' Lovely!

I love flowers. Well, I'm sure you're thinking, don't most women? I'm guessing the answer to that question is probably, yes.
I came to realize the other day, just how closely my life is associated with flowers.
My mother was a florist, as was her mother, and her grandmother....yep, Mel broke the tradition that had been going for the previous three generations. Nice one!
My father was also an avid gardener and his father was a professional gardener.
In a couple of my previous jobs, I have dabbled in the world of 'smellies'...so I do believe some slack should be cut.

When I think of my life being connected with flowers though, I mean it seems that every time I harken back to my childhood, flowers, and trees too, play a big part of those memories.

Although I was never blown away with the tulip as a child...given the fact that like most gardens of that time, we had the usual yellow and red flowers planted here and there...not to any great effect really. I did always think that there was something quite magical about the way they looked inside, once those petals would start to open in the morning, it was like you were treated to a secret surprise they had been keeping all night. Then I visited Keukenhof Gardens in the Netherlands and was absolutely gobsmacked at seeing these flowers en masse...now that's something to google sometime....Kuekenhof Garden-images...wow!!!
It looks like mother nature kicked off the top of a paint box to reveal the most stunning colours and then she painted them into the most amazing patterns. Must return there...soon.


As a little girl I always loved the look of the sweet pea flowers in our garden, I loved their beautiful colours and how delicate they looked. There is just something, well, sweet about them. They look innocent and have this intoxicating fragrance, and the way their tendrils would wrap around things always fascinated me, like a long skinny finger reaching out to be held.
Near to where the sweet peas grew, I had my own little garden which basically consisted on mint, which of course was added to potatoes being cooked by either my mother or grandmother. We had a big vegetable garden and lots of fruit trees too, and an array of flowers that wrapped around the house in flower beds, as well as various other trees throughout the property. A rose garden complete with tiny signs that my father painted indicating each variety of rose, the rose garden really smelled lovely.

Many of my summer days, I would sit alone of my front steps and admire the magnificent and complex flowers on our massive peony bush. The huge flowers were a beautiful magenta colour and I always thought how cool they looked, from before they bloomed, and were in this tight ball shaped bud to when they were fully opened to reveal layer after layer of petals, rather spectacular.
Then I would turn my attention to the lovely little strawberries dangling from the wild strawberry plant that was in a container on the corner of the steps. Pick and eat the ripe ones and calculate how many days until the next few would be ready.
I then wander around to the money plant and pull off a few 'silver dollars', I would try to pull them apart to have a closer look at the seeds inside.

Often when my grandparents visited, my nan would ask me and my brother to go and fetch some conkers from the ground so she could show us how to play one of her favourite childhood games. This is the same nan, that would also pay my brother and I a quarter to pick a bucket full of dandelion flowers, so she could make wine with it...thanks for introducing us to the world of alcohol!! ;-)
They had a big field next to their house and that's where you could find us....making 'two-bit's per bucket...I'd say we were slightly underpaid!!!
Should've started a union!!

Every fall I would highly anticipate....as I still do to this day...the changing colour of the leaves. This has always been my favourite time of the year, maybe in part...(and I'm just thinking of this as I type)...because the colour is so bold and in your face, and unlike the bright summer flowers, where the colour is usually close to the ground, trees have the height advantage to really show off their stuff.
There is something quite cozy and cocooning about being surrounded by those colours, it just makes me feel warm and good.

Winter would roll around and the big holly tree that we had was visible through our front living room window and when it was covered in snow, with it's red berry accents poking through, well it was a sight to behold.
There would be great excitement when the first snow drop showed itself and we always had tiny vases in the house filled with snowdrops and bluebells as a preview of what colour would soon be heading our way.

My mum would also will spring on by cutting a few branches of any of our blossoming trees as soon as there was a sign of a bud on them. Just the bare branches in a vase was a lovely visual, but the blossoms would show up soon and remind us, that indeed warmer weather was coming.

I would also spend alot of my time sitting up high in one of our three horse- chestnut trees, sometimes I would write poetry, sometimes I would escape from my father when he was in a 'mood' and sometimes I would just sit up there and think. No one knew I was there so it was my secret little hideaway.

So it does seem that there are few childhood memories that don't include some kind of association with flowers and trees....I guess I really could say that my childhood was, well, bloomin lovely!