Defacing Da Face

How cute is she?!
I spotted this sweet little lady on the loo door at Long Beach. I think it's a big improvement on the original, you know the one where we have no hair or expression. Hopefully, someone will come along soon with ye olde Sharpie in hand and give the men's side a little spice, at least give the poor man some facial features. Maybe he could be wearing a wetsuit and have a surfboard by his side. Maybe, that should replace traditional tagging - just have graffiti artists hit all their local loo's and give the folks a make-over, appropriate to the surroundings.
I think it's long overdue. These people who stand as our silent guides, getting us to the correct spot, saving us from the embarrasment of heading into the wrong washroom, never taking a sick day, most likely, earning low wages - surely they deserve a fashion intervention. Raising the self esteem of cut-out people all over the world - one loo at a time! I wonder if they've ever thought of forming a Union?...

Flavah of the Month

Let me set the scene for you - I'm reclining on my outdoor lounger, a warm breeze blows through my hair, the skies are a beautiful shade of blue and the clouds like big balls of cotton candy. The days are long, I wile away my time sipping slushy fruity drinks and daydreaming until darkness falls and the stars light up the sky. I close my eyes and listen to the sounds of the birds singing their bed-time lullabies to me. Aah, sweet serenity.

Now back to reality - I'm in the backyard sitting on a chair, with 2 kids, a Slip 'n Slide, and I'm keeping myself cool with the aid of a water bottle/fan. If the birds were singing, I'd never hear them over the laughter of children - a beautiful sound as well. This is a pretty nice way to spend a summer day too, but sometimes I could use a little of the first scenario to just recharge my batteries. A small break from my usual life to give me the fuel I need for the real scenarios in my life.
When I'm looking for this kind of mini getaway, I find the quickest way to get that feeling is to listen to my latest flavah - Zee Avi.

This 23 year old singer/songwriter was born in Borneo and later moved to Kuala Lumpur, so this lovely lady can quickly deliver me to that relaxing island vibe within the first few words of a song. She plays guitar and ukulele and her voice has an ease and a calmness to it that is incredibly sweet and relaxing.
It's the same quality that draws me to songs like Ella Fitzgerald's 'A-Tisket, A-Tasket' and Sarah Vaughan's, 'The Sassy One'. There is a quiet conviction to her voice that just takes you along for the ride. Stylistically speaking, she hits my musical sweet spot - her songs are reminiscent of some of the best music that I was lucky enough to have been exposed to as a kid. She brings an old jazz feel to her music while still keeping the sound fresh and modern.

My current fave from Zee Avi is the pretty little song, 'Honey Bee'. Being a quirky non conformist all of my life, I instantly related to not fitting in with rest of the bees! 'Bitter Heart' is a breezy tune that takes an upbeat approach to a not so upbeat situation...I've always loved the sad lyric/happy beat combo. 'Just You And Me', is another catchy number that has me planning my next adventure, it's impossible not to be swept away with this song and it's happy ukulele strumming.
Other beautiful offerings include, 'Poppy', 'I Wish I'd Never' and 'No Christmas For Me', all fantastic in their own different ways. Zee Avi also does a selection of covers, so great to hear a new twist on many of my old favourites. Check out YouTube for her videos, as well, check her out at www.myspace.com/zeeavi and www.zeeavi.com

Do yourself a favour and pick up her debut self-titled album.
I look forward to following the career of this musical gem, I know as long as she's singing - I'll be listening.

Boeuf of the Week

Ok, here's my latest rant. The victim this time - changing rooms, or more accurately those closet type rooms who try to disguise themselves as changing rooms.
As all of my post grad education is fashion related, I do believe that I am more than qualified to speak on such a subject.
I also did work briefly in a clothing store which gives me some behind the scenes cred, but most of all, it's my pure love of clothing that qualifies me as an expert on this subject.
Also, the fact that I am a compact sized human, means trying on clothes in store is pretty much a necessary evil, so I have a good understanding of what the perfect changing room should be like.

Okay first off, I like a good door. Sounds like a pretty basic request, yet more and more often, it's becoming like a search for the Holy Grail to find such a thing.
Now when I say a 'good' door, I guess I should clarify what that is - apparently I need to! A door is solid, is doesn't have slats in it like a venetian blind, that children always seem to be tempted to poke their fingers through as they walk past with their parents - or they also like to try and have a peek inside. Note to you children - I can see you!!
A good door should go down to the floor, not start a foot or more above the floor. Nothing is more comical to me than shopping for clothes and glancing over to the change room area and seeing a collection of bare legs wearing an array of bad socks.
I've been in some change rooms where the bottom of the door is so high up that I'm sure I've flashed 'me knickers' as I've bent down to get try on the next garment!
Word to the wise - always wear good knickers!
A door should be made of a solid material, fabric - a door does not make! Even if you put over-sized grommets on it in an attempt to trick us into thinking it's a 'cool door'. Nope, it's still just a big ol' curtain. The supplying of an extra half yard also does nothing to remedy the fact that every time someone walks by my change room the curtain flies open at the sides exposing me in my smalls! Now, by no means am I a prude, but if I am going to be giving your customers a 'peep show' due to your lack of providing a proper door, then I at least would like to get paid for my performance - and yes, I would consider taking a hefty discount on my purchases as payment. A simple magnet in the curtain and on the wall of changing room would help, but we all know how expensive magnets are, don't we?!

Now once in the change room a simple chair would be nice, sometimes I have a guest in there with me and a seat would be nice. Kids get cranky if they have to stand, and for those times when I'm flying solo, I may like to sit for a moment and ponder my potential purchase.

A mirror inside the room...is that such a lot to ask for? Not a mirror outside - where Trixie, sales girl is waiting with her words of praise for me - no matter how I look. To all you sales chicks, let me give you the heads up, I've never been the type of person to be swayed one way or another about pretty much anything, by pretty much anyone. So, please keep your 'OMG you look so cute in that' to yourself. I can appreciate your need for that extra boost to your pay cheque from commission - but with me you're barking up the wrong tree. Just give me a mirror in my room and nobody gets hurt.

Hooks would be lovely too. Not one or two, but I'm thinking six would be nice. I usually need one for the 'keepers', one for the 'what was I thinking trying that on!', one for the 'maybes', one for the clothes I came in wearing, one for my purse (failing the providing of a chair) and one for any excess. Hooks aren't expensive so there is no need to cheap out on this, please don't make me bring my own 3M ones!

That's it really. A proper door, a seat, a mirror -inside, and some hooks. Hardly what I'd call diva-like demands. Oh, and if you can get the sales girl to stop tapping on my door every few minutes asking me 'how's it going?', that would be cool too! Once is fine but if they keep asking, I may be forced to show my annoyance by slamming the curtain as I leave - see, you need a door!!!

Psst...ya wanna buy a rose bush?

Beware - mad-man on the loose!! He may be armed with a trowel and wheelbarrow - do not approach if seen, call 911!!
If this is direction that crime has taken since I left Surrey, I must say that things have improved greatly! It does make me wonder though - how much can you get for a 'hot hosta'?? How much street cred can this crime give you? Will I see some of these criminals on 'Lockdown'?

I can see it now....
Inmate 1 -'What are you in for?'
Inmate 2 - 'Doing 25 years for murder, you?'
Inmate 1 - 'I'm doing a week plus 50 hours of community service for the theft of some pansies.'
Inmate 2 - 'Oh you a pansy alright!!'

So remember kids, crime doesn't pay. Ok, well it can but I think you know what I mean.

Objects May Appear Smaller

...way smaller!! A few weeks back I forgot to take a lunch to work, no biggie, I thought I'd just hit the BK drive-thru and grab myself a Whopper Jr. and a bottle of water, and yes, I know this seems like a kids meal!! As I'm waiting to place my order, I notice that they have apple juice, so I decide that I'll get that for a change - I know, my life in the fast lane, that's just how I roll. Actually, my decision to change my bevy choice was based on the image that popped into my head of having that nice cold glass bottle of apple juice to hold against my body and feel its soothing chill. It was one of those 30c days that we'd been having, and despite having my air conditioning on, I still longed for that extra shot of cold. So I place my order and get lost in my daydream of my cold bottle of apple juice with condensation o'plenty for extra effect. I pull up to the window to get my goods. The lady hands me my tiny burger bag, and I turn to put that on my passenger seat. As I turn back in anticipation of receiving my bottle of juice dripping in cooling goodness, she hands me this doll sized carton of apple juice that you see pictured. As you can see it's even smaller than a kids sized chocolate milk, in fact I've never even seen such a tiny carton before!! When I say doll sized, I'm talking small dolls, this wouldn't even be enough to quench the thirst of Cabbage Patch Doll!! I'm actually stunned by what I'm being handed, so much so, that I just assume I must be on Candid Camera or something - the lady did give me a bit of an odd look when she handed it to me. I should've said, 'I'm sorry, I think this must be for the garden gnome in the red convertible behind me' (I am imagining that he's at the mid-life crisis stage - the bad fashion sense and the white beard was a dead give-away)! As I assumed that I was on camera at that point, I politely thanked her, and gave her a look like, 'yep, that is what I wanted', no need to laugh at me as I pull away!! It seems that the joke is on me, no TV cameras to be spotted anywhere. I honestly could've sucked back this puppy before I even made it out of the parking lot, but then I would have nothing to wash down my burger with. Instead, I had to have a bite of my burger and then tiny, wee, little sips of juice - akin to the amount of water they give you in hospital to swallow a pill, ya know, in those one inch high cups!! Luckily I didn't choke and I am able to share my story of near tragedy with you. So please if you go to BK and fancy an apple juice, see about getting a price break on a 6-pack, you'll be glad you did!

Things That Make My Heart Smile

The next chapter in the list of things that make my heart go zing!!

Interesting doors - the more worn the better - as this stands as a reminder of how many people they must've welcomed over the years.

The delightful waft of bread baking as I drive past McGavin's Bakery on Langley Bypass.

Beach glass - also known as sea glass or mermaids tears. Basically the little bits of glass that you find along the shores, that have become smooth and frosted as a result of tumbling around in the sea, and on the sand and rocks. In most cases, these little works of art got there as a result of someone littering, leaving their bevy bottles behind - although I prefer to imagine that some drunken pirate threw his empty whiskey bottle overboard in the height of his merriment- but then again, that's just me. I don't like to think of a sad mermaid. I like to say, yo-ho-ho when I find a piece, but again -that's just me.

Rusty things - I just like the way it looks, old nails, barn roofs, and especially old locks.

Chocolate - milk chocolate. Cadbury's milk chocolate makes the top of my list. I'm pretty happy with any brand from the UK though, so much better than North American chocolate. My favourite chocolate shop is Thorntons, and whenever I'm in the UK, I visit them...frequently!! My biggest love is milk chocolate and toffee, together or alone - either way, I'm in heaven! Which is exactly where I was transported to after buying myself a bag of assorted toffees from Thorntons last year. You haven't experienced love until you've had their treacle toffee....must stop here, drool becoming an issue...

A good cuppa - something so satisfying about a good cup of tea, especially on a chilly fall morning.

Jumping in puddles - I know, I'm such a child. How can you resist though...little pools of wonder just waiting to be discovered.

Rolling down a grassy hill - again, I know, I'm such a child. I just find it hard to look at a nice green rolling hill without having the thought of rolling down it. I do tend to resist though - mainly just to avoid bodily harm - damn you aging process!!

The song 'Winter Birds' by Ray LaMontagne - I think this is one of the most beautiful songs - evah!! As a chick with a poetic spirit, this song to me, is lyrically superb. Combine this with some gorgeous soothing guitar and Ray's soul-filled voice, well lets just say, this song moves me. Fills my heart with warmth - *SIGH*
If you're not familiar with this song have a listen via YouTube, and check out his lyrics too.

Linus Van Pelt - yup, I'm talking about Charlie Browns BFF. More about my love for him in a future blog. For now, I just had to declare my love for him. :-D

Boeuf of the Week

Well as you may have noticed, this isn't exactly a 'weekly' blog feature despite it's title. Quite simply because, I don't really have a weekly boeuf. Oh sure, there is always some little annoying thing that will happen but this space is more for things that get under my skin...more of a 'repeat offenders' kind of offence or a venting space for things just plain nutso!
My boeuf this week is something that we all deal with on a fairly regular basis when we're out shopping. It's featured as my current thorn as I always notice that as soon as summer hits, the amount of incidents that occur greatly increase. I'm not sure if it gets worse due to people being in a more relaxed state of mind, or perhaps it's the heat getting to them, but I find it definitely happens more frequently.
I'm speaking of those people who somehow seem to be completely oblivious to other people in their surroundings. You know, the ones who shop and take up a whole aisle - they leave their buggy right in the centre (on an angle of course) while they go off to decide what flavour of chips they want to buy...hmmm, salt & vinegar, rippled, all dressed!!
Clearly the confusion of what additive to choose, leaves them not able to see the line of people trying to get around their buggy, or to hear the same people muttering voodoo chants as they finally make their way past.
Another favourite of the people that I file under 'The Ignoramus Group', is when bumping into a neighbour or friend while shopping, they insist on blocking off the entire area where the meeting occurs, somehow this area now becomes their own. Unless you're interested in getting caught up with the fascinating tales of Aunt Mabels 'foot issues', or Uncle Bob's 'plumbing issues' or hearing what EVERYONES kids are now doing, I would suggest you just take a detour!! This group will still be there when you're on your way out. We also have families, who decide that they all have to walk in one big, spread out horizontal line. They sometimes will all hold hands, which always puts me in the mind of Red Rover - The Mall Addition. I swear one day, I'll see someone taking on their smug challenge and go bustin' right through their happy family unit!!
Red Rover, Red Rover, man with the angry eyes is going to plow you over!
Lastly in this group of people suffering from 'holiday head' are the one's who ask dumb questions, and I mean really dumb questions. Only days ago a customer was standing in front of the gum section where I needed to merchandise my product. She was taking up half of the space, so I did what I could on the other side and waited for her to shift so that I could continue with my gum guru duties. I waited and waited and then waited some more. Frankly I'm often baffled at the amount of time it takes some people to choose gum. So I continue to shuffle the remaining products in my buggy, trying to appear polite by not rushing her - when in fact I'm swearing under my breath. She turns to me with this gem of a question. 'What is the best gum to take on holiday?' My first thought is 'WHAT?'!! She's been there a full ten minutes and that's the reason why?!
I wanted to say, 'well mam, depends where you're going....Mr. Spearmint loves Europe and can take you to the most divine selection of eateries, while Ms. Winterfresh (despite her name) simply adores the tropics, but if it's a fun, no strings attached kind of get away you're after, go for Mr. Bubblemint...he knows how to show a girl a good time!!
I decide against sharing those thoughts with her and ask. 'well what flavour do you like?'. She replies, something minty. Now this is where my extraordinary skills as a gum guru come into play...I say, 'ok, how's about peppermint?' She looks at me as if I'm bathed in light and my words have been sent from God, takes the gum that I recommend and thanks me for my help?.
These are just a few of the challenges that I have to face at work - it's a tough job, but I guess someone has to do it! I sometimes wonder how I manage to stay so sane. ;-)