Saturday, November 8, 2008

But wait...

It's the line, I always wait to know it's coming, the final ploy to get you to buy something on an infomercial. I guess it terms of hook, line and would be the sinker.

The hook of course, is the product. Be it the sham-wow (made by the Germans don't cha know), or the knife that you can cut a pop can with or maybe some of those stylin' blue blocker sunglasses or my new favourite, mighty putty.

The line, is having those incredibly dynamic aka mentally unstable folks that hawk the stuff. They tell you of all the benefits of the product and why you need them to make your life better. They are usually men, who have to shout the benefits of the products to you despite the fact that they are usually hooked up with some head mic that makes them look like there may be a chance, at any given moment they may break into song ala Britney...well song-ish.
I guess the shouting shows you how enthused they are about the product and they just want to make sure that you hear the benefits of their goods.
I can't count the number of times that I've had to cut a pop can in half, just before I need to cut some tomato slices for a sandwich... so handy to be able to do that with one knife, instead of the days when I used to bring my hacksaw indoors...a big time saver for sure!!
And by the time I take my next sun filled vacation I will make sure that I am donning a pair of blue blockers...I guess if I headed to Florida, they may even have other styles available there...the Del Boca Vista series maybe or perhaps the Golden Girls line...sounds sexy non??
The fact that they are big enough to cover half of my face is a real bonus, it means that I'll be saving money hand over fist on I only need to do my chin and the top inch of my forehead...AWESOME!!!
I know for a fact Tony is leaning heavily towards the sham-wow...he has been using a similar product...let's call it the sham-PNE for years and swears by it.
For me though, I'm putting my money on the mighty putty. I think this will become a very useful thing to have around the home. I'm thinking if you can use it to install a shelf that will hold 350 lbs of weight, then it will be a good parenting tool as well. When I tell the kids to go in their room for a time out, no longer will I have to worry about them coming out every few minutes with the usual...'can I come out now?' siree, I plan on using my mighty putty to mount the kids to the wall...that way I can ensure that they won't come out until I'm good and ready to let them out!! Not sure how easy it is to remove though....hmmm, may have to read the fine print on that one!
This product really gives great value for the money, household uses, a parenting tool and the means to start up a new business!!
As Mr. Billy Mays aka GI Joe demonstrates, mighty putty can pull an 80,000 lb tractor trailer, so having that information combined with my natural entrepreneurial spirit, I figure that I may soon be entering the towing business.
All I'll need is a trailer hitch and my trusty putty....very low start up cost indeed!
I plan on concentrating on the big rig market, no more need to use those mega tow trucks, nah-uh...just Mel, my Corolla and my putty! This winter I'm going to head up and down the interior of BC looking for truckers in need, I will become like a guardian angel to these burly, lumber hauling, plaid shirt wearing, greasy spoon eating, peeing on the side of the road, dudes who made wearing a trucker hat fashionable. I may even, if the budget allows, fashion myself a halo made from pipe cleaners...kind of set me apart from the other tow truck operators.
I can hear their gruff voices calling me now....'breaker, breaker....Mel Angel we need you good buddy, do you copy?'
I will reply via my vintage cb radio, 'this is Mel Angel I read you my burly one and I will be there in a jiffy, 10-4'.
Oh, I can almost hear the sweet sounds of my bank account growing as I write this!
Note to my all new business have their hiccups, I think it would be wise for me to advise you NOT to drive behind me when I'm towing....just in case!
See, sometimes infomercials can be very useful.

But wait, if you comment on this blog in the next 4 minutes, I'm going to double the amount of time I'll be your friend....and that's not all....if you say nice things in your comment, I will keep all of the 'stuff' that I know about you to myself. Yes, you heard correctly....I will remain silent about the details of 'that' Friday night.
If you are not completely satisfied with my blog, just keep your memories of me and send me $19.95 to cover the handling costs.


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. Too funny. I actually have to admit that I own this's something to do with buns and thighs I think (but not the master) and it's blue. It's in pieces, in my big messy closet. I bought it after watching this hour long infomercial in the middle of the night, years ago. It was like this obsession...just had to buy it and I've never used it as of yet. Maybe, just maybe, you can bring over your putty and we can somehow piece it together. Anyway, I loved the blog. Does this qualify me??? Kel

  3. Sorry trying to figure out your posting troubles...I deleted your comment by accident, but not to fear, I've added it back.
    Thanks again!! :-)

  4. Oh miss mel I am so glad to see you posting again this one has got to be One of my favorites keep on writing aunty mel.

  5. Awww - thank you Rene....umm, I mean anonymous!
    :-p This is an oldie, but new stuff will be coming very soon...getting back to writing in a big way next month....right now, I'm busy organizing the chaos. Thanks for reading and stayed tuned!! xox