Sunday, May 31, 2009

Boeuf of the Week

Ok, here's my latest rant...
The commercial for MultiGrain Cheerios....and I mean the ridiculous 'American version'. The one where they've dubbed an American accent over the British accent....and to add insult to injury, it's an extra annoying American accent!!
Do me a favour! Was it that difficult to understand?? They played the British one for months and then all of a sudden, along comes this new version. Did Americans complain that they couldn't understand what they were saying?? Maybe they could've made it easier but slowing it down or perhaps adding sub-titles.

Sub-title example -
Actual British version - 'what are you eating?'

American sub-title - 'what are you eating?'

Perceived British version (Steve's part to be voiced by *Dick Van Dyke) -

'ello Gov'nah' wot's dat you eatin' den? Cor, day look good don't 'ay, I could murder meself a bowl of dem. Maawl-ee grain you say? Well, I nevah.
You lookin to drop a few stone den darlin'...ah don't be daft, corse you don't need-oo...but it's much bet-ah for you den a bacon sarnie in'it? Etc, etc...

*(Van Dyke's attempt at a cockney accent was cited as one of the worst film accents in a 2003 poll by movie magazine Empire.)

My solution is to release a third version of this commercial...
In this version, it would start off 'American'...then when the woman asks, 'what else does the box say?'
I'd like John Cleese to pop out of the box and say...'my parrots dead, my parrots dead'! Then he'd start asking for cheese....(check out YouTube for full understanding of these references ;-) )
I think that would be no more absurd then the current 'Wonder bread' version!!

Now, not even a 'Spoon Full of Sugar' could make me cereal taste good's put me right off.
They've made a right dogs dinner of it!!!

Friday, May 15, 2009

Things That Make My Heart Smile

This feature is mainly set up to remind me all of the things that I love, from the big to the small, and from the common to the obscure. It will be a good reminder to me and maybe you too, of all the things in life that make us happy. I think it's important to find joy everywhere, as I've always been a naturally optimistic person, I try to find something good in almost all situations. If you're open to it, I think in a way, it finds you. It is second nature to me, as it's how my mother is, and how she taught us, and how it was shared with her by her parents and grandparents. I notice my own kids picking up on things in a similar way now too, which makes me really grateful. Life is going to throw you it's fair share of curve balls, but if instead of always trying to dodge them, maybe if you, that ball sounded wicked flying past my'd at least come away with something good. As I am a self confessed kooky chick, my list may have elements to it that seem downright oddball, but that is where the pleasure lies. Being aware to of these things for me is being 'alive' and appreciating the experience of being able to kick around on this ol' planet called Earth for awhile.

The List....

Big puffy cotton bally clouds - these make me crazy with love!

Trees, trees and more trees. Bare crooked Halloweeny kinds, big majestic oaks, weeping willows all swaying in the wind, fire coloured fall trees, full of blossoms trees, odd textured trunk trees....any type of tree!!

The snapping sound of a perfectly ripe grape!! Ya know that little 'snap' when you bite into a grape in its sweet and lovely.

The colour of prune plums....I love the variation of their parts of them even look dusty. When I lived in Surrey, we had plum trees and I loved picking them and studying how amazing their patterns were - quite exquisite I thought! Also the contrast of colour from the outside to the inside, most cool indeed!!

School House Rock!!
'Conjunction, Junction, What's Your Function??' and 'I'm Just a Bill' were two of my favourites! Both performed by jazz great Jack Sheldon...he is one cool cat!! I think that this would've been a fantastic way to learn all of our lessons at the form of some catchy little ditty...I would've got straight A's had that been the case! Thanks to YouTube, I can relive these moments over and over again....also available on DVD, must buy that!

Mr. Dress-Up - my favourite show as a kid. I thought that he was just the greatest artist...evah!! I loved the shelves that were full of toy animals and of course the Tickle could you not love that!! Let's not forget Casey and Finnegan, living in their cool tree house. Although I always thought that Casey was a little cheeky, I just adored Finnegan...with his floppy gray ears, I thought he was sweetest dog. Just thinking about his cute little face makes me happy! The only part of the show that I didn't like was when Mr. Dress-Up would go over to talk to the sinister much as I've always loved birds...this one scared me. He'd be all sleepy in that picture and then every now and then he'd wake up and say some cryptic message!! I'd think, please Mr. Dress-Up, just keep walking...don't stop to look at him!!

The number 7 - always my favourite number. I was born on the 27th in 1967, at 11:07 and weighed 7lbs 13oz, ooh, and my name has 7 letters. I think that's where it started and the number has just always felt right to me. The house where I lived in Surrey had two 7's in its address, as does the house where I live now. The list goes on and on.

Star-filled nights - for some reason, this still can take my breath away. I think seeing a dark night sky full of twinkling lights is just magical. I whirl around like a child with complete fascination whenever I witness this sight.

Donkeys - I don't know what it is about them, but I just think they're really lovely.

The sound of a baseball being a wooden bat. I don't know how to put that sound into words, but I think we're all familiar with it. It's a great sound.

Ok, that's the beginning of my list, I will continue to add to it as I think of other things that bring me joy. :-D

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Boeuf of the Week

Okay my first entry for 'Boeuf of the Week' comes courtesy of my dentist appointment yesterday. Just a regular check-up/ biggie really. My boeuf is with the hygienist that I had, a lovely woman - don't get me wrong, but I believe that I could have easily suffered my demise in the recline position of her chair yesterday.
My issue is her lack of suctioning skills....for some reason during the 'always fun' scaling portion of the visit, she found it necessary to keep the water gun thingy running at a force that I'm sure is the equivalent to the pressure used by the fire department, in combo with just leaving the suction thingy hooked to the side of my mouth...which I might add, gave me a frightening insight into how a hooked fish must feel!! Now, she did occasionally, pick it up and suction, but nowhere as often as I needed. She seemed to be getting lost in her own world, humming away to soft rock tunes....and personally, I could do without an even softer version of the likes of Air Supply and Phil Collins!! For the love of God....isn't it about time that we made soft rock radio stations illegal??!! Also, given the fact that it is extremely hard to swallow with two hands jammed in your mouth - well lets just say I'm happy to have made it out alive!!
Note to my family - if at some point this is indeed how my life is to end, please put in my obituary that I died in a water related accident - that sounds so much more adventurous than saying...I popped my clogs as a result of choking on a lethal cocktail of my own saliva infused with the freezing cold dentist water....oooh the humanity!!!

Monday, May 11, 2009

Flavah of the Month

Okay, this is a new addition to my blog, although one that I had planned on doing since I started SAM. As you may already know, I love music...if you didn't already know that, you obviously haven't read my entry 'I've Got the Music in Me'...and if that's the case shame on you!...I shall send you to the dungeon where you can think about what you've done - or in this case, haven't done!
I have always searched out new music, as I've always found radio a bit bland.
Unfortunately I think a lot of the best music never finds the audience that it deserves. I find new music in a variety of ways, through reviews, friends' recommendations, or diggin' around the internet and sometimes, just sometimes, when the stars align, the music just makes its way to me. That is the case with the first artist to be featured as 'Flavah of the Month'.
FYI, these are the kind of flavahs that you'll want to go back to time and time again, like a great classic vanilla ice cream as opposed to a licorice ice cream...blaaaah, please don't even tell me that you like that!! Gawd it looks like 'tar in a cone'....nummers?!!
The point is, I don't view these as passing fancies, I'll choose artists that I believe have substance and ones that I look forward to following their careers. In this feature, I will share wid ya what I'm currently listening to, some may have been around for awhile and some are quite new...but I think all of them are pretty great. Hopefully, you'll have a listen and agree.

So without further adieu - how fancy hey?! ;-) (I guess that was further adieu!)
My first 'Flavah of the Month' is....Chris Keys! (Insert fireworks sound effects now). He's a 26 year old, singer/songwriter from Belfast, Northern Ireland. An unsigned gem.
His songs are rich and full, and well put together. His voice has a beautiful tone to it, and has an essence about it that just draws you in.
Check out his sites for a video sampling. Shooting Star is a catchy little tune that will have you singing along by the second playing of it, and Under the Streetlight is a beautiful song that has a soothing quality about it - the chorus just kills sweet to my ears. More info on Chris can be found through the following links - check 'em out, more fab songs are posted there... become a fan on Facebook, order his EP, download his songs or just drop him a line and let him know what you think.,

One year later....

Well, it's been one year since I started this blog and I've been lucky enough to have a few of my peeps interested enough to read it, and for that, I thank you!
The original reason I started this was to empty my head every now and then of all of the craziness that goes on inside it...whether it be my poems, or short stories or just my random ramblings. I haven't added much of late, but hopefully that will change with the aid of some new features that will allow me to add more in less time.
Don't get me wrong...the short stories will still appear, it's just that free time is somewhat scarce and to find a block of time to write a longer piece is difficult. Plus the fact that I go over them again, and again to make sure they say exactly what is in my head and I don't post them until I'm happy with the finished product...well, let me tell ya can take a while!! I do have one story that has been it the works for a long time - still not happy with the flow of it, so that baby is on hold - for now. You will get from this photo an idea of how my head works...I know, it's terrifying isn't it!! This mass of paper is what flies out at me, like one of those cans o'fake snakes every time I open my file drawer. This is about 20+ poems that are in the works...sometimes I write a poem in one fast and furious session and other times, the smallest thing will inspire a line or two in me and I just jot those down. Often these ideas come to me while I'm driving to work aka my 'alone' time. I have to write them down as soon as they enter my head or they will be forever lost in the great abyss known as my brain. I often do this while I'm driving, which by the way I don't recommend, but that is the reason that they are written on the likes of a napkin and in my work note pad.
My head always has about a gazillion ideas whizzing through, so I have papers everywhere with ideas scribbled down...yup, I do have a journal to write this stuff down in an orderly fashion but it is located 2 drawers down in my obviously, super inconvenient to get to!!! What am I like?! They will make it to the 'good copy book' at some point, but in the meantime my ideas are floating around all over the place in a fashion that's similar to the sensation you get when you rub your eyes...ya know what I'm saying?? All them floaty things everywhere that make you question...did I do LSD?? Tres weird!
So, coming to a theatre near you soon-ish are new features like, 'Flavah of the Month' - a journey into the music that I'm diggin. 'Boeuf of the Week' - a place to vent about the stupidities of man-kind, 'Things That Make My Heart Smile' - a list of random things that I adore, and I may even throw in a few things that I wrote with an old pal of mine, under the title, 'Adventures of Pat & Marge'.
So please stay tuned folks.....plenty more madness to come!! Insert evil laugh track now..