Friday, October 17, 2008

Stop the Insanity!!

Okay, it's well documented that I am indeed fussy, my mum has called me a fuss-ass for as long as I can remember. I don't have a problem with the title though, nope not at all, because if I didn't hold this title...which unfortunately doesn't come with a sash or crown...well then there'd be the chance that I would become one of those 'other' people.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure some of those other people are lovely, even if they have been driving me to the brink of insanity lately!
I'm talking about those people, who for some reason have no problem leaving their homes to be viewed by the public at large, in clothes that I would have thought best belonged in the 'to be used as rags' pile....MEOW!!

I do my best to block them out, but like a moth to a flame, I can't help myself. I have a hard time taking my eyes off of them....even though I tell myself...look away from the horror lest you'll be scarred for life!
Now I know that people aren't going to don their finest when they are just picking up their kids from school, but would it be too much to expect that maybe we could do a little better than sweat pants.
Lately it seems that the vast majority of people waiting for their kids have come straight from an audition of What Not To Wear....I know, MEOW again!!

In the past few weeks I have witnessed, ill fitted pants o'plenty, including many that are way too short, and no they weren't Capri's.
The bold mixing of patterns that has resulted in the same effect, that being spun in a dryer after a large meal would have...not good!
People wearing more colours than any rainbow I've ever seen.
Clothes that have had food stains on, clearly a lot of misjudging of where the mouth is has been going on.
Note to all, it's the opening below the nose.
And as I've mentioned enough sweat pants to, when tied leg to leg, would stretch from here to St. Johns. RAAAHHH!!
I'm not talking even 'nice' sweatpants...I'm talking the kind that have obviously been lived in for a very long time, air conditioned at the knee, elastic at the ankles...need I say more?

It just seems that so many Canadians have decided that sloppy is ok...well, my fellow citizens I'm hear to scream...IT'S NOT!!
We are better than that people, let's not turn into our neighbours to the south where for some people, sweat pants paired with a matching sweat shirt is considered 'formal wear'!

It's not about having money, it's about style and more importantly pride.
In fact, having a lot of money to spend on clothes often has it's downside, as people are lured into the false sense of security that if they paid a lot of money for a piece of clothing than it must be good and they must be lookin' fine in it.
This can be a deadly assumption...why do you think that airports the world over are filled with rich ladies sporting white suits with gold lame' accents, tops covered with gold appliqued animals on and hideous bejewelled sandals that they jam their fat feet in!! Think about've seen them too.
Head held high due to the fact that they assume they look good owing to the $1500.00 they plunked down to look that way.

So I beg of you, please treat yourself better.
Learn what looks good on your body type, know your size (your real size, if you're a large...don't buy a medium - nobody is going to look at your tag when you're out), don't wear more colours at one time than are in Joseph's technicolour dream coat, and less pattern than grandmas quilt is always a good rule to follow.
Well fitted basics in good quality fabrics is virtually fool proof.

And if you have to wear sweat pants, please do me a favour...for public viewing, let's shoot for no elastic at the ankles, no holes, a colour other than grey and let's really push the boat out and look for something with maybe a little embroidery.
All the above were suggestions of the 'if you have to' scenario...let it be known that the wearing of sweat pants has not been endorsed by me.

Changing sloppy people into fuss-asses one person at a time.


  1. OK dear SAM, I would like to ask a "rule" question. Are elastic bottom jogging pants OK to wear while sleeping and camping? I realize that camping is considered "in public" but I was wondering if there are exceptions to the rule. I would like to clarify that I have never worn jogging pants in public (unless camping IS considered public)as a woman on the girthier side, I really don't need anymore padding than necessary.
    Also, I was wondering, while you are ridding the world of bad dressing, would you be so kind as to make large bellied men stop wearing t-shirts that allow the bottom of the belly to show, girthie girls to stop wearing tube tops and girls that DO wear tube tops, to please stop wearing them with a bra. I would rather you get rid of tube tops all together but I digress. Just do what you can. For all of us with sight, I thank you!

  2. my fav's in NZ.... to name oh but a few... are
    A) the "muffin top" a plentiful amount of squish hanging over the jean "waistband" <----in quotes as it aint anywhere near your waist. B)rugby shorts worn OFF the field with jandals or commonly with no shoes at a bar...a grocery well EVERYWEAR! C)that view <---(yes i was looking at a woman's ass....i am happily hetro, get over it...)whilst walking behind a woman who's squeezed herself into that trusted pair o pants even though some parts have expanded. Pants now ride up into the nether regions and so deeply trenched into the crack, that it looks awfully painful.
    No doubt the front view would be equally as disturbing - camel toe!

  3. Ha, ladies you make me laugh!!
    First off, Tracy...let me clarify my view on sweatpants. A-OK for home use, working out, yard work, camping etc. All of these, you can do without the risk of me tackling you from behind and then dousing you in lighter fluid before turning you into a ball of've been warned!!
    Elastic at the ankles is especially good if you need to wear your sweat pants to bed on a cold night, as it keeps the pant legs from riding happens with my nightshirt aka my scarf...I may need to look into double sided tape...hmm?
    As for men showing of their 2-4 pack...I'll work on tops..don't even go there sista!!

    Kit-kat...I feel your pain...deeply!!
    Trust me, my list goes on and on and on. As my job has me merchandising solely in can imagine the amount of horrors that I must try and hide my eyes from on a daily basis!! Oh, the humanity!!!
    Squidgy-bits, oozing out and over everywhere.....eewww!!
    Must lie down...feeling weak....