Thursday, July 24, 2008

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Ok, so I'm back from my family trip to Disneyland now and it's time to put down my thoughts on the trip....time to share.
First let's set the scene, we went for a one week trip, and had 6 consecutive days of theme parks. I should mention off the bat, that I'm not much of a theme park girl.
Don't get me wrong, as a kid travelling in the UK on family holidays, there was nothing that thrilled me more than spotting a seaside 'fun fair' in the distance. It was even better when my dad would decide to stop at one here and there, instead of my brother and I continually having our faces pressed up against the window of our mini van like 2 dogs waiting for their master to return home. So when we sometimes got to go for a 'walk', it was exciting! Of course, we're talking low-key parks in comparison to the mega empire that Disney be....ya know, throw a dart...pop a balloon, the arcade with all it's lights and sounds, ye olde big slide, rock candy o'plenty and sometimes even a coaster for the daring ones...count me out on that though....the big slide was about as wild as I got.
So as we embark on this week long holiday, I know full well that it will be a challenge to my sanity, I remind myself, that many times I will need to find my inner Costanza and repeat the phase, 'serenity now, serenity now'...

The Good...
-the nicely groomed palm trees that are in the few blocks surrounding Disney and hotel central.
-the flowers native to California, that probably wouldn't have a chance in hell at surviving here in the 'wet coast'
-the almond poppy muffin that I had for breakfast everyday...lubbly!!
-having an air-conditioned room to head back to
-little soaps and hair products...c'mon, who doesn't like cute little toiletries??
-the fact that the in-laws paid for the whole sha-bang...mind you them joining us was part of the deal too....note to self...always read the fine print!! ;-)
-the kids first plane ride went well, no melt downs..hallelujah!!!
-both kids loved going on rides, and surprisingly, Gavyn went on many that I wouldn't go on...mind you, I am a baby la-la.
-Tony and I got to go on one ride alone. My first time on the Indiana Jones ride...oooh, how I laughed like a school girl...all you could see was my hair whipping around...good times!
-the fact that the airport dude in Vancouver said, 'welcome home'
-watching my mother in-law (who doesn't drive), be a back seat driver even in a bumper car...that was classic...the Italian in-laws fighting over how to get their car to move, the hand gestures were awesome...too funny!!
-sitting in front of my mother in-law in the canoe and hitting her oar about every third stroke, because she wasn't putting the oar deep enough in the water...she was more giving the water a light 'stir' as if she was making sauce....Nina...there are no Roma tomatoes in was highly amusing!

The Bad...
-the eighty billion super-sized Americans that we had to fight our way through daily....for the love of God....cut back on those portion sizes people!!!
-that fact that 7-eleven...known for it's higher prices, charged .99 cents for the 'red triangle chips' aka Doritos that Owen seemed to need like crack (pick your're on holidays)...while Disneyland charged $2.75 for the same thing!!!
Shame on you, you fat cat of gross proportions,...bleeding families dry....serenity now....
-the stinkin' humid weather and having to pay stupidly high prices for a bottle of water...$3.50 at Knott's...that's 3 flippin' 50!!! Fine if you only needed one, but when you need to buy several a day to avoid passing out....c'mon, that runs like $30-$40 for 6 of us...dude, we're going to be peeing it out 5 minutes later!!
-the fact that LAX stinks like socks....big time, wud up wid dat?? Oh yes, welcome to the glamorous world of LA.
-the fact that of the gazillions of people that we saw, I only heard one parent ask their child to 'keep out of the way'...that was the only example of 'parenting' that I heard....I tells ya, I must sound like a right ol'nag to people as I'm constantly reminding the kids about manners.

The Ugly...
-the mass amounts of hideous tattoos that I don't get me wrong...I like a good tattoo, but who in the H-E-double hockey sticks gets a big snowman tattooed on their arm...saw this beauty on a lady no less, and I use that term loosely.
Actually most of the ugly tattoos that I spotted were on women, often in weird places up their shin...that must look good when you're wearing a nice dress.
-the black haired woman who sat across from me on the bus to Universal who had super hairy legs and pits....eeeewwwww, sorry to all you lovers of the extra fuzz...but I'm not a fan....Mel likes it smooooth!!
-the man who stood in plain sight of everyone and picked his nose...and then checked to see if he dug out any treasures ala Pirates of the Caribbean....eeeeewwwww again!! We were in line for food...cancel my order for the spinach torte, I seem to have lost my appetite.
-the un-groomed palm trees outside of the Disneyland area, you know the ones outside of the well kept up hotel central...they look more like Snuffleupagus then a tree.
-the amount of nasty bra straps that I had to see...ok, I know my background is in fashion, so maybe I'm extra picky, but, helloooo people, if you wear a halter neck top, you don't wear a regular bra with it...DUH!!! Same goes for a racer back top, or a strapless....Rahhhh!! I'm sorry, I can't let this fashion faux pas go...there's nothing more distracting to me than to see a woman with a halter neck top and then her regular grotty old bra straps going across her shoulders...that doesn't follow the design line of the garment you im-be-cillllle!!!!
Serenity now, serenity now....
Ok, clearly I remember my days in fashion school where we actually got docked points in a 'fashion crimes' game if we committed a fashion VPL or visible panty lines...that was a no-no. So I'm pretty sure that if we were to try to show up for school with the whole 'grotty bra straps showing thing'....well, I think it would be safe to say that we would've got ourselves with a one way ticket to Guantanamo!!!

So kids that's the overview on my trip. I did say 'serenity now' many times over the week, yet failed to find any. What I did do though, was take over 300 pictures...ya know, that 2 second smile after the 20 minute cry fest, or the 'look I'm on a ride' after waiting 45 minutes to get on. I have learned that this is really the best way to look back fondly on a family vacation, as time will soon blur the facts and all you'll have left is the visual reminders that we call photos.
Before you know it, time will have removed all that bad bits and I'll be looking into the next family adventure with the wide eyed optimism of someone just leaving on their very first family vacation.
Serenity now, serenity now....

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