Here's the deal....I am a writer. I think I always have been, well since I was old enough to write that is. I even started writing a book on 'buying horses' when I was about 9 years old...of course I wasn't really qualified on the subject, but it didn't matter to me. I have always been a keen observant, which in turn is what qualifies me as writer. I loved horses as a girl and hung out with many horse owners, I figured I'd picked up enough info from them and through my own readings that I really felt like I had enough to offer a reader to guide them through the initial stages of their Gigi purchase.
So, it does strike me a bit odd that at 41, I have to remind myself that I can write.
At nine years old, I'm ready to write a book, and now I have to convince myself just to set up this blog, which really is just meant for my own pleasure and the eyes of a select few friends.
So what's the big hang up you may ask?? Well as many of you already know, I much prefer life behind the curtain as opposed to being centre stage. So first off, just letting people know I write is something I don't often do. In reality I have written probably hundreds of poems since I was 12 years old...the age that I 'got' poetry. I've never really done much in the line of stories as the poetry is what, in the past, has flowed like water for me, so if it's easy we tend to stick with it.
I should point out that the words have flowed easily with poetry as the poems were quite often my outlet for anger and frustration at family situations or words about relationships, these extreme emotions are great for getting the words to flow.
I suppose though that the main reason that I constantly deny my writing ability is because most of the time I tell myself that I have no 'ability'. By that I mean, my father was a writer of poems and short stories, and spent most of his life correcting us when we used the wrong word, or our sentences made no logical sense.
This was just who he had become, and he was very good at making you feel stupid.
Due to difficulties with my home life, my high school years were quite a struggle.
No one ever really knew the extent of the issues that I was having at home but let's just say it was extremely challenging to maintain a normal school routine with all that I was dealing with. So it turn, I missed a lot of school and really just didn't take in a lot of what was being taught to me. This has also added to my feeling inadequate as a writer, as I've never felt educated enough to call myself such a thing. I have now removed Curious George from my back, so no more excuses.
The fact of the matter is...I ain't no Will's. I never will be, but does that really matter?? Who uses the word 'doth' anyways?? In all honesty I really have no interest in writing like anyone else. What makes me, 'me', is the fact that my regular speech is so far from correct that it's not even funny....well actually it often is funny.
I would be much more at home in the movie Juno then I ever would be in some 'properly spoken' movie. 'Juno speak' I get. My sentences have always been formed from a collection of British slang, in combination with a whole bevy of odd references and a slew of words that I have made up over the years - I have so many of these, that I can no longer tell you which ones I've made up and which ones already existed. That is quintessential Mel. Correct or not, I don't give a rats A$$, that's me. I've read plenty o'correctly written stories in the past and frankly, many of them are boooring!! They often greatly lack flavah, and honey, what's life without flavah?!
So as I continue to add to this blog and form a collection of stories made up of ill-formed sentences, I remind myself that it no longer matters about being 'correct'.
If I am able to convey to you in my odd, wack-a-lacka manner what I'm feeling, or seeing, or thinking, then indeed there is no way that I could get it more 'right'.
In closing I say to you, "go and tell Lucy she can close her booth for today, I'm keeping my nickel...problem sorted"!