Sunday, June 14, 2009

Curtain Call

Snippets of my life in theatre format because...
All the world's indeed a stage
And we are merely players
Performers and portrayers
Each another's audience
Outside the gilded cage - Rush via Shakespeare

The setting - Discount store selling a variety of items - some useless, others perhaps useful.

Act One -

Lady (to be played by me)- enters shop upon her husbands suggestion, wanders somewhat aimlessly only half taking in the odd mixture of items as her main focus is controlling her 2 crazy boys. Ponders the fact that despite the lack of customers, there seems to be no lack of staff.

Bearded staff dude with somewhat 'surprised look' eyes spots lady and makes his way through a maze of garden furniture and accessories, weaving in and out of chairs, past tall metal crane sculptures, under over-sized outdoor clock on stand (why?) and finally reaches lady.

Beard guy : 'hi', 'is there anything I can help you with today?'

Lady : (although wanting to say- yeah you could help me get my kids to listen) replies: 'no thanks, I'm cool - just havin' a wander.'

Beard guy - exits stage, left then right, then under the clock again, and another sharp left - careful to avoid being impaled by the crane.

Act Two -

Lady suggests to husband that they wander separately each taking one child to avoid the constant attempt for 2 hot, tired children to give each other the stink eye.
Husband (to be played by Tony) agrees and takes the red-headed one.
They go their separate ways.

Act Three - (the mime portion of the play combined with some interpretive dance??)

The setting -
Lady and brown eyed boy continue to wander aimlessly through shop. Lady continues to wonder, what kind of people shop here - feeling a bit like Alice in Wonderland after she fell down the rabbit hole.
The PA is playing 'Get into the Groove' by Madonna. Lady is getting bored and searches for husband and the red-headed son. As she approaches each aisle she looks down hoping to spot them.
Before she can look down the next aisle a portly man in sweat pants and a t.shirt that is clearly far too small for him, steps out in front of lady - he stares directly at her with no expression on his face, stands there, and does a few bizarre shimmy dance moves to the lyrics - 'Get up on your feet, yeah, Step to the beat, Boy what will it be' and then just turns and goes back down his aisle in a fashion that reminds the lady of a koo-koo clock figure stepping out for it's few seconds of glory and then hiding away again. High emphasis on the word KOO-KOO!!
Lady merely stares blankly in return and continues on her quest to leave the store.

Act Four -
Now back in the safety of their vehicle, although curious why the dancing man chose her to give his free show even more curious as to why this kind of bizarre occurrence happens on a fairly regular basis to her....hmmmm....could it be my perfume??

More plays to ability to attract the world's strangest people is second to none!! And perhaps I'll even do a little classic theatre and relive some of my old favorites.

P.S. Rush's Limelight is still a wicked tune, back to YouTube for another listen.


  1. Is that why I'm your friend, then? I'm just a strange & funny guy?? =^p well fine, I guess I am, LOL !!

  2. Ha, most of my friends are a bit a good way of course!! Where's the fun in being normal I ask??