Sunday, June 28, 2009

Boeuf of the Week

Well as you may have noticed, this isn't exactly a 'weekly' blog feature despite it's title. Quite simply because, I don't really have a weekly boeuf. Oh sure, there is always some little annoying thing that will happen but this space is more for things that get under my skin...more of a 'repeat offenders' kind of offence or a venting space for things just plain nutso!
My boeuf this week is something that we all deal with on a fairly regular basis when we're out shopping. It's featured as my current thorn as I always notice that as soon as summer hits, the amount of incidents that occur greatly increase. I'm not sure if it gets worse due to people being in a more relaxed state of mind, or perhaps it's the heat getting to them, but I find it definitely happens more frequently.
I'm speaking of those people who somehow seem to be completely oblivious to other people in their surroundings. You know, the ones who shop and take up a whole aisle - they leave their buggy right in the centre (on an angle of course) while they go off to decide what flavour of chips they want to buy...hmmm, salt & vinegar, rippled, all dressed!!
Clearly the confusion of what additive to choose, leaves them not able to see the line of people trying to get around their buggy, or to hear the same people muttering voodoo chants as they finally make their way past.
Another favourite of the people that I file under 'The Ignoramus Group', is when bumping into a neighbour or friend while shopping, they insist on blocking off the entire area where the meeting occurs, somehow this area now becomes their own. Unless you're interested in getting caught up with the fascinating tales of Aunt Mabels 'foot issues', or Uncle Bob's 'plumbing issues' or hearing what EVERYONES kids are now doing, I would suggest you just take a detour!! This group will still be there when you're on your way out. We also have families, who decide that they all have to walk in one big, spread out horizontal line. They sometimes will all hold hands, which always puts me in the mind of Red Rover - The Mall Addition. I swear one day, I'll see someone taking on their smug challenge and go bustin' right through their happy family unit!!
Red Rover, Red Rover, man with the angry eyes is going to plow you over!
Lastly in this group of people suffering from 'holiday head' are the one's who ask dumb questions, and I mean really dumb questions. Only days ago a customer was standing in front of the gum section where I needed to merchandise my product. She was taking up half of the space, so I did what I could on the other side and waited for her to shift so that I could continue with my gum guru duties. I waited and waited and then waited some more. Frankly I'm often baffled at the amount of time it takes some people to choose gum. So I continue to shuffle the remaining products in my buggy, trying to appear polite by not rushing her - when in fact I'm swearing under my breath. She turns to me with this gem of a question. 'What is the best gum to take on holiday?' My first thought is 'WHAT?'!! She's been there a full ten minutes and that's the reason why?!
I wanted to say, 'well mam, depends where you're going....Mr. Spearmint loves Europe and can take you to the most divine selection of eateries, while Ms. Winterfresh (despite her name) simply adores the tropics, but if it's a fun, no strings attached kind of get away you're after, go for Mr. Bubblemint...he knows how to show a girl a good time!!
I decide against sharing those thoughts with her and ask. 'well what flavour do you like?'. She replies, something minty. Now this is where my extraordinary skills as a gum guru come into play...I say, 'ok, how's about peppermint?' She looks at me as if I'm bathed in light and my words have been sent from God, takes the gum that I recommend and thanks me for my help?.
These are just a few of the challenges that I have to face at work - it's a tough job, but I guess someone has to do it! I sometimes wonder how I manage to stay so sane. ;-)


  1. don't get me started on the scooter people in malls and grocery stores! Slow down and drive at a qick walking place you grumpy old farts - and don't you toot toot your little horn at me !hahahahhaha

  2. At work, I was signing in and I watched the staff show some lady how to use the stores power was quite hilarious. Before she even made it out of the customer service area she crashed into the wall and then as she pulled out, she seemed to have trouble getting a handle on the advanced braking system, she'd start off fast and then come to an abrupt stop, she did this several times...I bet she suffered whiplash by the time she was done!!